Bed Rest Mom by Cynthia Lockrey

Author:Cynthia Lockrey [Cynthia Lockrey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: HEALTH & FITNESS / Pregnancy & Childbirth
Publisher: Self-Counsel Press
Published: 2018-03-20T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

Ask for Help

Once word gets out you’ve not only been put on bed rest but also admitted to hospital, you will have friends, family, and neighbors saying to you and your partner “let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” You’ll likely brush away these offers, saying you’re fine. After all, they’re just saying that to be polite. Right? Wrong.

Don’t guess others’ intentions. By accepting support and asking for help you’ll soon find out who is sincere. And this is a time when you truly need that help. But before you ask for help be clear on what it is you need. Here’s a list of some areas you might need help while you’re in the hospital, unable to do your normal things.

Support at home:

• Rides for your children

• Caring for your children

• Meals for your family

• House cleaning

• Laundry

• Grocery shopping

• Setting up baby’s nursery

• Shopping for baby’s arrival

• Picking up relatives at the airport

• Setting up your baby registry

Support at hospital:

• Visiting you

• Snacks and home cooked meals for you

• Driving your children to come visit

• Doing your personal laundry

• Bringing supplies to hospital

• Taking you out (if allowed this could be a quick trip to a restaurant or outdoor space)

Asking for help can feel awkward. It’s tough to know who is sincere about their offers and who isn’t. Here’s a tip I used when I was put on home-based bed rest with my daughter and again when I learned I was being admitted to hospital while pregnant with my son. I sent an email to friends, family, and coworkers providing an update on my pregnancy. Since I had been placed on bed rest with no warning, I never had a chance to say goodbye to my coworkers or let friends know of my hospitalization in advance.

In the email I clearly listed how my husband, daughter, and I needed help. This was less awkward for us as I wasn’t directly asking anyone for help, so no one felt obligated. In the email I stated the help we needed and let people decide if and how they could help.

I knew, in my absence, my husband wouldn’t reach out and ask for help but would definitely appreciate any support he could get, particularly with our daughter.

The response was overwhelming and help came from the most unlikely places. A cousin who lived 45 minutes from the hospital made weekly trips to keep me company, often bringing treats for me to share with some of my new friends in antenatal. A friend and former coworker visited me in hospital twice a week, bringing her small son with her. They soon became a part of our antenatal group, hanging out in the common room with our group of big bellies. This friend also took me out for small outings, including spending Mother’s Day enjoying a seafood feast at a restaurant near the hospital. A close high school friend who lived a short drive from the hospital picked me up every week, took me to her house and, not only made me supper, but also washed my laundry.

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