Bad Childhood-Good Life by Schlessinger Laura

Author:Schlessinger, Laura [Schlessinger, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Non-Fiction, Self Help, Philosophy
ISBN: 9780060577865
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2006-01-03T00:00:00+00:00

SIX

Never Seek Love from the Devil

My advice is to never give in to evil. Never let yourself become the bad experiences inflicted upon you in your childhood.Try to tran-scend and learn from the negative, turning those experiences into something good, true and right. Most importantly, trust in God. I am living proof that right can overwhelm wrong.

—Robert, a listener

When Robert was eleven, his father’s birthday present for him was a big bundle of about thirty switches, three- to four-feet-long elm tree cuttings from his yard, tied up with a red ribbon. His father, an elementary school teacher, beat Robert, as he had done daily, with each and every switch, only shifting to a new one when one broke. Robert’s mother never interceded, never called police or child protective services, and never left.

The beatings stopped when Robert was fifteen and big enough to defend himself. He fought off a beating one day by pinning his father in a wrestling move he’d learned in eighth-grade gym class the year before. His father was hu-Dr . miliated, and just a few days later filed for divorce and left.

The family was free of the devil.

Robert was determined to make a success of his life, in spite of his traumatic childhood. He wanted to become the kind of a father he never had growing up: good, kind, and loving. To succeed as a father, he used his own father as the contrast.“When in doubt, I did everything the exact opposite of my own father. I was successful as evidenced by the positive proof of my beautiful boys telling their friends that I was an excellent father to them.”

This is a great outcome for a horrendous situation.While it is obvious that his father was evil, it may not be obvious that his mother was even more so. For any parent, any adult for that matter, to stand by and watch the virtual torture of children and not act on their behalf is unconscionable—and evil.

I hear from adults all the time on my radio program who share horror stories of one parent sexually molesting them or a sibling, brutal beatings, outrageously vicious harangues, negligence, or exhibiting dangerous behaviors like driving drunk with kids in the car or leaving children alone, and on and on, while the other parent does nothing to protect them. Often they have formed some sort of relationship with the “stander-by,” mostly for the sake of not being a complete orphan.

Nonetheless, I tell them that this allegiance and alliance is sick and self-destructive. And the ugly consequences are far-reaching.

After hearing a call I took on my radio program with a woman who said she could not love herself, her son, or her husband due to the abuse she suffered as a child by her father—

which, by the way, both her parents refused to admit to—Patty, a listener wrote: “You told her to tell them to drop dead and then never see them again.This was a very hard call, but with your loving guidance, and a courageous caller, you guided her to a potentially life-changing decision.

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