Attached by Amir Levine

Author:Amir Levine
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Penguin Group USA, Inc.
Published: 2010-10-20T07:00:00+00:00

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF THINGS HAVE GONE TOO FAR?

If you’re secure but start to feel agitated, worried, or jealous (anxious traits), or if you find yourself thinking twice before expressing your feelings, or are becoming less trusting of or starting to play games with your partner (avoidant traits), it is a huge warning sign and very likely that you’re with the wrong person or that you’ve been through a difficult experience that has shaken the core of your secure foundation. Life events such as the loss of a loved one, an illness, or a divorce can cause such a shift.

If you’re still in the relationship, remember that just because you can get along with anyone doesn’t mean you have to. If you’re unhappy after having tried every way to make things work, chances are that you should move on. It’s in your best interest to end a dysfunctional relationship rather than get stuck forever with the wrong person just because you’re secure.

If you’ve experienced loss of an attachment figure, for whatever reason, remember that it wasn’t your set of beliefs that were to blame and it is well worth holding on to them. It is better to find a way to heal the wounds and maintain the hope that there are other people out there who share your need for intimacy and closeness. You can be happy again.

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