Ashes Of Memory by Aiden Bates & Jill Haven

Author:Aiden Bates & Jill Haven [Haven, Jill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-03-10T05:00:00+00:00

15

Tam

“And I guess... I mean, it’s not that I hold it against her or anything,” Vance said. “She did what she knew to do, and... there are all the laws about us, so she didn’t have a choice. But I guess I just wish she had tried, you know?”

Hearing about Vance’s mother was heartbreaking. He was the only mage I knew, and I was sure they all had a story like that about their parents. Once a mage was identified, they were sent to a Cabal, and that life was so cloistered that by the time they were old enough to live out in the world, their power controlled... well, reconnecting probably just wasn’t the same. “I didn’t know.”

He shrugged, curled up against the armrest of my couch, his knees to his chest, his arms hugging his middle. “I know. Why would you?”

“No,” I said, “I mean... that it was that rough for mages.”

“Others have it rougher,” he said, and shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to throw a pity party or anything like that. The cabal isn’t luxurious or anything, but it’s regular meals, training we need, masters who care about us usually. Master Nkendi... I mean, she’s like my mother, at this point. I love her, I know she loves me. And she understands me. Mom never would have been able to. Not really. It’s just how it is.”

“Still makes me sad,” I told him.

He smiled in a way that made me think it made him sad, too. But he pushed whatever that was away as he sat up and reached for his wine glass to take another sip. “Well, I think I have successfully crushed the mood here. Mission accomplished. I... should probably... go?”

I glanced at the clock. Well past midnight, and it was a drive back to Custodes Lunae. Plus he’d had a few drinks, though they were spaced out enough that I doubted he was really drunk. “If you really want to,” I said.

He bit his lip, and wouldn’t look at me. “And, um... if I didn’t want to?”

Vance was beautiful, his skin soft, his lips full, his eyes always lit with some kind of secret—like he knew things that made life more amusing than it could possibly be to the rest of us. We’d been on my couch talking for hours, and I’d barely noticed. To say that I wanted to fuck him didn’t cover it.

But even as I had that thought, I realized that what I didn’t want was to fuck this. Whatever it was that seemed to be rapidly forming between us. Did he want me like I wanted him? Did he want to wait? If I told him, or if he saw it in my mind—he was an esper, after all—would it run him off?

I was so paralyzed by it all that he started to stand. “Yeah,” he said, “I should go. Sorry, I’ve had a few, I—”

“You can stay,” I said quickly as I stood with him. It just seemed like the right thing.

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