Are You the One for Me? by Barbara De Angelis
Author:Barbara De Angelis
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780007378531
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Fatal Flaw 3
Victim Consciousness
Victim consciousness is an attitude some men and women adopt toward the events in their life, an attitude that blames others for their problems. It’s often difficult to spot a victim because none of us really mind hearing our partner complain to us about his or her past relationships. If you meet a man, for instance, and he often tells you horror stories about his ex-girlfriend, you’re secretly glad he’s not missing her or comparing you to her unfavorably. After all, you certainly don’t want to hear how wonderful she was. But if your partner has a habit of blaming others for his circumstances and not taking responsibility for his part in problems, watch out: You will be the next person whose fault everything is.
The tricky thing about victims is, in spite of their complaints about not having been loved or understood in the past, they’ll have a hard time receiving your love and support. Victims enjoy suffering: holding on to their pain gives them the illusion that they have power over those who’ve hurt them.
Therefore, when you love a victim, you may feel:
No matter how much you give, it is never enough.
No matter how much you try to console them, they refuse to be cheered up.
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Codependency | Conflict Management |
Dating | Divorce |
Friendship | Interpersonal Relations |
Love & Loss | Love & Romance |
Marriage | Mate Seeking |
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