Alice Fantastic

Author:Maggie Estep
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Akashic Books
Published: 2009-12-26T16:00:00+00:00

7. KIMBERLY

“Are you pregnant?” Joe asked.

“Hardly,” I said, gazing up at him from my position on the bathroom floor where, after vomiting prodigiously, I had crumbled next to the toilet.

“It’d be cute if we had a kid,” Joe said.

“Joe, you can’t be serious.”

“Why not?”

“I’m menopausal.”

“I hear some women get pregnant even a year after their last period.”

I stared up at him, dumbfounded.

“Joe,” I said evenly, “my youngest daughter is nearly thirty. I’m not pregnant. It’s just a flu.”

“You sure?” Joe scrutinized me.

“Quite.”

I thought of my daughter Alice’s complaints about all men wanting to get her pregnant. I had always suspected she was exaggerating. The men who’d impregnated me had not intended to do so. But now, my fifty-six-year-old next-door neighbor Joe, with whom I’d been having a lovely fling for eight weeks, sincerely seemed to want me pregnant. I was sure it was a passing phase, a fleeting, whimsical wish, the kind one becomes prone to in advanced middle age.

As I thought all these things, Joe gazed down at me with what I strongly suspected was love. Love? It seemed so foreign after the Battle of Betina. And the Battle of Claire, Betina’s predecessor, who had also been young and difficult. In retrospect, these relationships didn’t really have as much to do with love as with conquering.

“Kim,” Joe said, reaching for one of my hands and helping me to my feet, “I’m in love with you.”

“Oh, Joe.”

“Oh, Joe? What kind of response is that?”

“I’m fifty-three years old and I just vomited. I can’t imagine anyone deciding to love me at this particular juncture.”

“I didn’t decide it. I just do.”

“Oh, Joe.” I reached up and touched his face.

“You keep saying that.”

“I’m at a loss for words.”

“Do you have any positive feelings for me?”

“Many. Yes. There is even a good chance I love you.”

“A good chance?”

“Can I just brush my teeth and then we’ll get out of the bathroom and discuss?”

“I suppose so.” He gave me a wounded look then walked out of the bathroom, softly closing the door as he left.

I turned to the sink and took my toothbrush from the holder. Ours was the kind of relationship where I felt comfortable doing things like leaving a toothbrush. Not that I ever spend the night. When Joe and I want to sleep together all night, we do so next door, at my place, so as not to abandon the dogs. But leaving things at his place has made me feel girlish and I can’t say that I’ve ever in my life felt girlish.

I scrubbed my teeth and ran a hand through my hair that had gotten lank over the last few months. I knew I looked awful so I didn’t glance into the mirror.

“Okay,” I said, coming out of the bathroom, “I’m all cleaned up.”

Joe was sitting at the edge of the bed. He was wearing red boxer shorts. His graying brown hair was falling in his face. He looked sweet and sad.

“I don’t mean to be cruel,” I said, kneeling down in front of him and putting my hands on his knees.

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