A Woman's Influence by Tony A. Gaskins & Sheri Gaskins

Author:Tony A. Gaskins & Sheri Gaskins
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books
Published: 2020-04-07T00:00:00+00:00

ENGAGEMENT

Engagement should look a lot like dating. This should come between twelve and twenty-four months of beginning a relationship with someone. If the man is serious about the woman, he will not wait five, ten, or fifteen years to ask for her hand in marriage. It’s just a fact. I know some men make it look real by getting a woman pregnant, buying a house together, and all that, but if he doesn’t ask for her hand in marriage, it’s not real. I hate to break it to you like this. It’s not real. He’s still unsure and waiting on an opportunity that will make leaving her worth it. It’s not that he doesn’t believe in marriage; it’s that he fears marriage. He fears the commitment of marriage. In his mind, marriage means he can sleep with only one woman for the rest of his life, and he’s not ready for that yet. He may not be cheating on the woman, but he’s not in love with her and he doesn’t know if she’s the one with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life. Men in this situation won’t admit to this truth publicly in a million years. It would go against the “guy code” and upend everything he’s worked for. Men have admitted this to me in private, even though I didn’t need them to because I’m a man and I know the root of the choice not to marry.

The engagement will come around the twelve-month mark if the man truly is into the woman. It will definitely come before the twenty-fourth month if it’s real. The engagement should last a year, just as stated in the Bible. A twelve-month engagement allows both parties to see if marriage is truly what they want. It’s not a time to move in together and start having sex. The engagement is not a test drive. It’s not a time to explore each other sexually and so on. That’s what marriage is for, and you’ll have the rest of your lives to continue exploring, building, and bonding. Keep the engagement sacred, and use it for its true purpose. Shift your mind-set to marriage, and court and converse with a marriage mind. The engagement should be a time for making a deeper connection, spending more time together, and having deeper conversations, but without having sex and living together. This will allow you to make love to the mind instead of the body. I’ll talk about that in a later chapter. The engagement will feel like marriage because to be engaged is a commitment to marry. In your mind, it’s like being locked into a contract to marry the person, but the benefits of marriage are not there yet.

If you are both over the age of twenty-five, the engagement shouldn’t be longer than twelve months. Get married, or move on with your lives. If it’s real, it’s real, and when you know, you know.

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