A Voice in the Wilderness by Professor Joseph L Graves Jr

Author:Professor Joseph L Graves Jr. [L. GRAVES JR., JOSEPH]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Basic Books
Published: 2022-09-13T00:00:00+00:00

EVERYONE KNOWS OR HAS KNOWN SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT FIT the gender binary. I remember a student in my elementary school class who definitely did not behave like a “typical” boy. He was bullied for this. I did not participate in the bullying, but neither did I take (or know how to take) a stand as his ally. At that time I had a relative who grew up to be an openly gay male. In high school, when I was working at the lumber company in the summers, I worked with an older man who was always interested in hearing about my sexuality. At the time, there was nothing for me to tell, so my side of the conversations was short. However, though this man was married and had children, he would always joke about having sex with other men. In hindsight, I believe he was either bisexual or a closeted gay man. As a college student I came into contact with gay men and lesbian women more often, partly because it was easier for students to express their sexuality away from their parents and hometown. Many of the people I worked with when I was a revolutionary were gay, because gay people are among the most oppressed people on this planet. As this was in Detroit, most of them were African Americans, so they were dealing with racism, classism, and antigay bigotry. It was in these days that I learned to be a more effective ally for the LGBT struggle.

The LGBT struggle took on even more significance to me when I began to talk to parents I knew who had gay or lesbian children. These stories reminded me of how the person I knew in kindergarten was treated. Some talked about children who were more interested in dressing up in girls’ or boys’ clothes as opposed to the expected cisgender clothes. Others talked of children who preferred to play with more feminine or masculine toys than those of their gender stereotype. (It is important to understand that the toy gender binary results from the existence of gender stereotypes. Boys aren’t supposed to be interested in dolls, and girls aren’t supposed to be interested in commando action figures.)

He was bullied through elementary school, middle school, and high school. He was a talented swimmer, but he quit the high school swim team because of bullying (which his coaches did nothing to prevent). To this day, he is still bitter about the sport (he will not go to the pool or watch competitive swimming events on television). I was not surprised when he came out to his parents as gay in high school. When we heard from him that he was taking ownership of his sexual orientation, our first reaction was fear for his safety. He lives in a southern state with a strong history of biblical literalism and antigay bigotry. However, his family chose not to be paralyzed by fear but to act to guarantee his safety and rights in this society.

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