Upper Cut by Carrie White

Author:Carrie White
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

Will the Real Carrie White Please Stand

“Randy, got my spray? William, you have all my pins? Jere, the Styrofoam?” I asked my assistants as we scurried around backstage.

It was 10:00 AM at the Hollywood Palladium and I was about to perform my one-woman hair show. As in my previous Clairol shows, Dolly, my other assistant, doubled as my model. This show was for Revlon. They hired me to motivate Southern California hairdressers to use their color line.

“Who has my hairpieces?” I shuffled through my kit. “And who’s got the champagne? I need an upper. I need to take this Desbutal.”

Randy dashed over with a glass and I threw the diet pill down with one gulp of champagne. It splashed in my eye. “Damn it! Did I wreck my makeup?”

Randy inspected me. “No, you look perfect, oh, wait, your cheek is smeared, more blush.”

“Mirror, quick!” I yelled. “Somebody …”

“Five minutes, everyone,” a stagehand called. The Revlon people walked in wearing conservative gray outfits, very boring, very professional. “Are you prepared?” someone asked, as she curiously scanned my supplies.

“We do this all the time,” William said.

Speed in chemical form was the best thing in my life. I had so much to do in such a little time, all the time. I took another swig and refreshed my lipstick.

I walked onstage like I was going to perform at a rock concert. I had on my pink boa flung over my neck, my London slinky maxi dress, a look that hadn’t hit L.A. yet, my two Geraldine Chaplin beauty marks in place under each eye, my hair waved, and no idea what was going to come out of my mouth—possibly champagne bubbles. I looked out from the brightly lit stage and a room full of my people … hairdressers, hundreds of them, as far as I could see.

“Ready to have some fun and watch the fur fly?”

The crowd hailed, Yeah! Dolly sat down center stage.

“Hair is our material, our fabric, what do you want to do with it?” I tossed Dolly’s hair from side to side, scooped it up in my hands, then flung it around, making my first hairdo in one minute. “The answer: whatever we can do with it!”

I spun Dolly around. The crowd was fueled by my energy. My pill kicked in. “It’s architecture, building a house, making a dress …” I twisted and turned Dolly’s head, to show the audience my next construction. “How much fun is hair?” I shouted.

My boys were sharp in their suits. Everything was in their hands: combs, brushes, accessories, clips, pins, and spray.

“Take a hairpiece and throw it on here.” I put a big clump of curls on Dolly’s head. “Cone, please,” I poked pins into a Styrofoam cone and put it on top of her head. “Lacquer, please.” Jere handed me spray; William held the second hairpiece up. I grabbed it and stacked it on Dolly’s head.

I knew Revlon was waiting for their promotion. “And where there’s hair, there’s opportunity to color hair.” I pitched like Elmer Gantry.

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