Thriving in the Face of Childhood Adversity by Bugental Daphne Blunt;

Author:Bugental, Daphne Blunt;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group

8

Chapter

Parental Reactions to the Child in a World Apart

Children who appear to be unresponsive to parents create a caregiving challenge. The adult talks, requests, dictates—the child does not respond— sometimes because of hearing limitations, and sometimes because of the child’s difficulty in regulating his or her attention and actions. In this chapter, we will consider how parents react to children who appear to be unresponsive.

Children with sensory, attentional, and behavioral regulation problems are a source of confusion. Parents wonder, Why doesn’t my child respond in the ways I expect? What is going on in her head? What makes him act the way he does? Even if adults come up with a possible explanation for the child’s apparent unresponsiveness, the next question becomes, “What can I do about it?” In short, children “in a world apart” place heavy demands on adults’ problem-solving abilities.

First, we take a look at some of the ineffective ways that parents respond to this issue. In particular, we look at the results of a program of research that tracked the maladaptive response patterns that some adults show to children who appear to be unresponsive. Then, we move on to consider some of the more effective problem-solving options.

Negative Parental Reactions to “Unresponsive” Children

On a visit to my lab, Jenny’s mother leaned forward and peered into the computer screen in front of her. The screen showed a series of squiggles reflecting Jenny’s physiological reactions to a video she had been watching (we were measuring how children react to another child having a routine medical exam). “So this little line there shows Jenny’s heart beat, right? … and that line shows how much she’s sweating?” I nodded and added, “And that purple line goes up and down as she breathes.”

I had invited Lucy, Jenny’s mother, to watch her child’s physiological reactions. In the darkened room, the computer displayed what Jenny had been watching and how she had reacted.

“Wow,” Lucy remarked. “That’s a surprise. Jenny’s my good kid. She’s always so calm. Nothing ever bothers her…. but look how fast her heart is.” (I reassured her that Jenny’s heart rate was fast but not unusual).

“Wow” (she repeated). “Now’ if this were Amanda, this would make sense.” She glanced at me, her brow furrowed, and she explained, “That’s my other daughter.”

“Amanda was difficult from the start. Anything sets her off… I’ll never forget when she was born. It was a very, very difficult delivery.” She paused a moment, laughed, and then added, “She even had to be born her way.”

She shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of helplessness and looked away. “She’s been that way ever since.”

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