The Unsayable: The Hidden Language of Trauma by Annie Rogers

Author:Annie Rogers [Rogers, Annie G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General, Psychology
ISBN: 9780307492388
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Published: 2008-11-26T00:00:00+00:00

21

Ellen returns the following Wednesday, listless and unfocused. She sits in her chair, playing with the Fimo clay without making anything. “I'm getting worse. Coming here makes me feel worse,” she says finally.

“How are you worse?”

“I don't know; I'm just… I don't know.”

I say slowly, “Maybe that's what feels worse just now. You are on the edge of knowing something you want to know and don't want to know.”

She shrugs, the teenager's ubiquitous shrug. Then she bends down and searches her shoulder bag, taking out a loose-leaf notebook penned with the names of boys, the names drawn in capital letters. I don't know if they refer to real boys or boys in a band, which seems more likely in such a public display. Ellen lifts out a sheet she's folded over several times and hands it to me: “My letter, a week late” (as if handing in a school assignment).

I open it and read her large printing between faint blue lines:

Dear Annie,

I don't want to write this letter. I'm afraid someones [sic] going to find it. I might lose it and someone might find it. I'm not being stubborn, I'm afraid.

Love, Ellen

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