The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Apple Mali & Dunn Joe

Author:Apple, Mali & Dunn, Joe [Apple, Mali]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780984562213
Publisher: A Higher Possibility
Published: 2011-04-26T04:00:00+00:00

If you’re not ready to try this process as a couple, doing it on your own is equally valuable. Each resentment you let go of will immediately bring more space and harmony into your life and into your relationship experience.

Begin this process by taking a personal inventory. Make a list of any resentments you hold toward your partner. These might be about things from the past, like “You didn’t give me a party on my thirtieth birthday.” Or they could be about situations that come up on a regular basis, such as “I get irritated when you leave dishes on the counter.”

Once you’ve identified everything you can, prioritize the items on your list according to which you think will be the easiest to let go of.

Dissolve Your Resentments One by One

If you’ve agreed to try this process together, begin by experimenting with little things that don’t matter much to either of you. Share one of your resentments and, together, look for ways to release it.

To the best of your ability, be open-minded and objective as you do this. Viewing your resentments, and your partner’s, as though they belong to someone else is one way to keep from getting emotionally caught up in them. Remember, the idea here is to use your partner’s support—which is often just their loving presence—to let go of your resentments, not to try to change your partner.

If you’re doing this on your own and feel your partner would be receptive, you might share with him or her that you’re in the process of uncovering and releasing your resentments.

To begin the purging process, remind yourself that your resentments are choices you’re making about how you see or relate to your partner and that you can choose differently. Then examine your resentments one by one. For each one, ask yourself these questions:

Will holding this resentment help me to create a relationship that is loving and connected?

Am I willing to accept what I’ve been resenting in order to have a more fulfilling relationship experience?

Is it possible that someone else could easily accept this about my partner?

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