The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory by Dedeker Winston

Author:Dedeker Winston [Winston, Dedeker]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2017-01-15T05:00:00+00:00

Quad

As the name implies, a quad is a four-person relationship. This can manifest in a variety of formats—two couples may become romantically involved cross-couple (kind of an X shape, if you’re visualizing). Or one person from couple A may be involved with one person from couple B, forming an N shape. Polyamory can definitely change the way you look at the alphabet!

In the poly community, cross-couple quads have a reputation for being unstable. I would be reticent to label any structure as more unstable than any others. However, as you add more people to a joint relationship, you are also adding more concurrent sets of insecurities, preferences, and needs. Managing all of those things for multiple people is not impossible, but it can certainly be complicated.

For example, Anna and Kevin are a couple. They become involved with Theresa and David, with Anna entering a relationship with David and Kevin entering a relationship with Theresa. There now exist four romantic relationships that need to be cared for: Anna and Kevin, Theresa and David, Anna and David, and Kevin and Theresa. There are also the metamour relationships between Anna and Theresa and between David and Kevin. Even though these relationships may not be sexual or emotional, those connections still need to be fostered and kept healthy for the sake of harmony. There is also the relationship shared when all four people are together. That’s a grand total of seven relationships! If any one of these connections suffers some kind of problem, it can and will send ripples through all of the others.

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