The Listening Leader by Safir Shane; Fullan Michael;

Author:Safir, Shane; Fullan, Michael; [Safir, Shane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated
Published: 2017-04-10T00:00:00+00:00

Listen to understand. Let go of the need to be right, and listen with mature empathy to a parent's experience, hopes, and needs. As Jackie said to me, “Parents have to feel that you care about understanding where they're coming from. If they don't feel like you care, it'll be hard to use that interaction to build any sort of partnership or investment.” One way to listen better is to view every time a parent approaches you as a form of data. Darrick Smith, professor of education at the University of San Francisco and former codirector of June Jordan School for Equity, said to me, “When a parent comes and cusses you out, that's data. But if you call the security and the security deals with the parent, you never get that data.” Sometimes a parent's message is a tough pill to swallow; in those moments, our work is to manage our own feelings and respond in ways that affirm the speaker and calm the amygdala. At other times, we need to be able to decipher a parent's core need from various nonverbal and verbal clues.

What's most important is that we stay curious and dig beneath the surface to understand what is really at stake. If a parent shows up angry, is she worried about her child? Is she mistrustful of you or the school due to her previous experiences? If parents don't show up for a meeting, resist the urge to create a story that assumes they're at fault. Call home and find out what happened. If they can't get to school, consider a home visit.

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