The Forgotten Secrets of a Magical Marriage by Nagalakshmi Shanmugam

Author:Nagalakshmi Shanmugam [Shanmugam, Nagalakshmi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789385492945
Publisher: Embassy Books
Published: 2016-11-27T05:00:00+00:00

Anger is just one letter short of danger

My husband and I have had our share of conflicts, confrontations and arguments. I was an ill-tempered person until about a decade ago. I carried forward the previous day’s failures and disappointments into the next day. In effect, a wonderful new day would have already ended. My anger led to frequent arguments with my husband, most of which, in retrospect, were absurd. I would often just stay silent and glower at him whenever we had problems. That put quite some strain on our relationship, as you might imagine. My husband then came up with a solution (as usual!). Every day when we went to bed, we would have to forget all the misunderstandings and arguments that happened during the day, forgive each other for our mistakes, forgive ourselves for getting mad, and start the next day afresh. He suggested that the previous day’s events should not intervene in the current day – essentially marking the day’s negative feelings with an expiry date. All negative feelings had to expire within 24 hours or at the stroke of midnight, whichever came first. It was a nice suggestion to hear, but putting it into practice was very tough. I found it difficult to let go of my anger. However, I tried really hard every day, and over time it became easier. It was only after I learned to get over anger quickly that our life became fun, and lovely things started happening. We cannot undo the past, but we can forgive the person, forget the episode, and move ahead.

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