The Emerging Child by Brusiloff Phyllis;Witenberg Mary Jane; & MARY JANE WITENBERG

Author:Brusiloff, Phyllis;Witenberg, Mary Jane; & MARY JANE WITENBERG
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781442256132
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2015-09-08T00:00:00+00:00

Sue

Sue, an aloof, whining, four year old, always seemed to be sad. Her bushy, tangled mass of curls, never cut or combed, gave her an ill-kempt, neglected air. Her lethargic, despondent appearance masked what could have been prettiness and grace. She never seemed to receive any enjoyment or satisfaction from toys or friends. The compassion evoked by her depression and passivity turned into annoyance growing from the frustration of her continued unresponsiveness. Her regular nursery school teacher felt that she was a possessive, spoiled child with a short attention span.

Nothing ever satisfied her—toys, friends, food. She continually whined, demanded attention, and sought quantities of materials that she never used. Her hunger for attention and acquisition indicated the emotional vacuum and deprivation she felt in relationship to her mother.

Sue’s mother was a striking, bohemian-looking woman. She was volatile and quick to anger. She had little patience with Sue and even acknowledged her indifference and lack of interest, saying things like, “I should have looked at her drawings before I threw them away.” Her own turmoil was great, so she had little capacity or time for understanding her daughter. Mrs. M., a white woman whose marriage to a black man was ending, described her husband as a “free-lance con man, who doesn’t know the meaning of responsibility.” Mr. M. apparently indulged his own interests, ignoring the family. He was playful with Sue, but often didn’t show up when expected, leaving Sue inconsolably disappointed.

Mrs. M. accused the social worker who interviewed her of being nosey and prying, and was most reluctant to give any further information about her husband or her-self. She felt anxious and uncomfortable about the responsibility involved in bringing up her child, and her behavior toward Sue was contradictory and confusing. She gave the child toys instead of attention. Her immediate response to any conference relating to Sue was defensive rage. She would vehemently deny any problem, saying, “They’re crazy at Day Care,” but at the same time, she was eager for Sue to participate in the TNG group, saying, “It would be good for her.” When called because Sue had a throat infection, Mrs. M. came and took her to the clinic, but she was angry and abusive to Sue, the receptionist, and the doctor.

Sue was placed in the middle of a conflict between her mother and her teacher, a woman with whom Mrs. M. openly fought. Sue brought her own toys to school, but was unable to share them. She would spend the day hoarding the toys, tantalizing the other children with them, and getting upset if they were touched. The regular nursery teacher explicitly asked Mrs. M.to keep Sue’s toys at home. Mrs. M. seemed to listen and understand the difficulties created, but repeatedly sent Sue to school with several toys anyway.

The teacher-therapist managed to establish a relationship with Mrs. M. by arranging special dance lessons for Sue. After this Mrs. M. became more accessible; eventually an alliance of interest and concern developed. Mrs. M. began to realize the impact of her ups and downs on Sue and this insight helped their relationship.

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