The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage by Suzanne Venker

Author:Suzanne Venker [Venker, Suzanne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Published: 2016-12-22T16:00:00+00:00

ACTION: For the next five days, focus on serving your husband. Make him a meal or a drink. Bring him the newspaper or a cup of coffee. Ask him if he needs anything. Listen without interjecting. Show respect, even if you think what he said is nuts. When you were dating your husband, you probably did all of these things happily. My guess is you stopped because resentment settled in. Don’t let it.

6

HAVE ZERO EXPECTATIONS

What keeps many women from being willing to serve their husbands, aside from the resentment they harbor, are the expectations they have of marriage. High expectations are a major problem today, as women are encouraged to expect far more from men and marriage than any one person or institution can deliver.

When you enter a relationship with preconceived ideas about what should be or what can be, and things don’t work out as planned, the only possible result is disappointment, which then fosters resentment. The only solution to this problem is to dump your expectations altogether. Obviously you expect your husband to be good to you and to be an active participant in the marriage; but barring such reasonable expectations, it’s best to hope rather than to expect.

Men have far fewer expectations of marriage than women do. When men marry, they accept that what they see is what they get. They don’t say “I do” thinking they’re going to change or fix their wives later. Women, on the other hand, will actually marry a man they’re not quite sure about, or who they think is “good enough,” all the while thinking they can conform him into the man of their dreams. To illustrate the difference between men’s and women’s expectations of marriage, allow me to share a joke.

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