Sexual Anorexia by Patrick J Carnes

Author:Patrick J Carnes [Carnes ,Patrick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Published: 2009-03-13T04:00:00+00:00

Emptying ourselves of distractions, preoccupations, and obsessions allow us to connect with who we really are. It means discovering what German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “the ground of being.” It is finding the sacred within us. When we are true to ourselves, we are most spiritual. We begin to tune to our own authentic voice.

How do we do that? Think of times in your life when, as you were about to do something, a little voice inside said, “Don’t do this. If you do, there’s going to be a bad ending.” You heard the voice, but you ignored it and went right ahead and did whatever it was anyway. When things did turn out badly, you said to yourself, “I wish I would have listened to myself.” Sound familiar?

Here’s what happened. Probably most of the other people around you seemed to trust that the situation would turn out for the best, and the other outside indicators said you should go ahead—so you felt you could disregard your inner voice. You didn’t trust yourself, despite the fact that your instincts were absolutely right on. In such a situation, a loss of self occurs because you denied your voice. That voice is you speaking.

Jung spoke of a larger consciousness that we can tap into with our intuition—if we would but listen. This is called “discernment”—the ability to see clearly what is, especially in those situations when we have no rules, laws, or prior experience to direct us. This is where divine guidance and trusting ourselves meet.

When we regularly listen to our inner voice, others notice. People can quickly see that they are dealing with somebody of substance, somebody who knows what he or she believes and is willing to act on it. There’s no false ego put up for others’ inspection. What they see is what they get—and what they get is a truly authentic person.

People who listen to their inner voice are trustworthy. We may not always like what they say, but we know at a gut level that we like to be with them because we won’t be blindsided, let down, or exploited.

Listening to and trusting our inner voice can be difficult because we often feel many pressures to ignore it. Yet trusting and listening to it are critical in developing our discernment. Knowing what and whom we can trust is one of the most critical human faculties that we have, second only, perhaps, to allowing other people to become close to us.

We all struggle with the issue of discernment. It often surfaces for me in situations with my children. Not so long ago, for example, one of my daughters was dating a drummer in a band. One day, she came to me and said, “Dad, the boys’ van broke down. They have a gig in Chicago on Saturday, and we really need to use your van to carry their stuff. There’s no other way we can get there!” I looked at her and said, “Where are their parents?” but apparently none of the other families had a truck or van.

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