Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children by Webb PhD Jonice

Author:Webb, PhD, Jonice [Webb, PhD, Jonice]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2017-11-06T16:00:00+00:00

Prepare to Help Your Parents with Guilt

Two factors threaten your success and progress in this endeavor of talking with your parents. They are guilt and defensiveness, and they often go together. Your parent may immediately feel that she is being blamed for your problems, or she may immediately jump to feeling that she has failed. Natural responses to either may be to become defensive or to dissolve in a pool of self-blame.

It’s important for you to recognize the potential clout of blame, guilt and defensiveness to derail your best-laid plans. It will be vital for you to anticipate your parents having these feelings, and to jump in to prevent or quickly manage any that may arise. The very best way to prevent and manage your parent’s guilt is to provide her with plenty of reassurance, understanding, validation and appreciation. Start with the positive bridge, remind her of what she did right, and show understanding of what she was up against. Express compassion for what she didn’t get when she was growing up, and share your positive feelings for her. Use these generously and wisely, and they will help her stay with you and hear you. This can maximize the possibility that you can reach your goal.

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