Receiving Love Workbook by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D

Author:Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2006-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Step 6.

From these general statements, use the following form to write down which messages you obeyed, which you disobeyed, and what the consequences were.

The negative messages I obeyed were___________________________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

and the consequences were__________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

The negative messages I disobeyed were___________________________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

and the consequences were__________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

The positive messages I obeyed were___________________________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

and the consequences were__________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

The positive messages I disobeyed were___________________________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

and the consequences were__________________

______________________________________

______________________________________

EXAMPLE:

Wendy answered the questions in Step 6 this way.

The negative messages Wendy obeyed were: She did not express her feelings openly to very many people. She did not show her anger. She tried to stay away from situations where she would have to compete.

And the consequences were: She was perceived as standoffish by her friends. She put up with behavior from others that she wouldn’t have if she had recognized that she was angry and had a right to be angry. She had trouble owning her gifts and abilities, because she tried to stay away from competitive situations, and when she did do something well, she couldn’t claim it in case someone else felt bad as a result.

The negative messages Wendy disobeyed were: She allowed herself to develop a religious faith. She gave herself permission to want things.

And the consequences were: Her religious faith gave her great comfort and allowed her to grow as a person. She learned to ignore her family’s cynicism. She had to practice recognizing and saying what she wanted, but eventually got to the point where she could do it with a minimum of struggle.

The positive messages Wendy obeyed were: She got herself a good education. She was compassionate. She felt it was okay for her to be successful.

And the consequences were: Knowing that she had earned a good education gave her self-confidence. Her world was enriched by the feelings of compassion she had for others, and her relationships were good as a result. She felt fine about her level of professional success.

The positive messages Wendy disobeyed were: She didn’t develop her creative side. She didn’t focus on making money.

And the consequences were: There were a lot of arts and crafts she was attracted to, but she didn’t feel like she would ever be able to do them. She didn’t have as much financial security as she would like, and that caused her some worry.

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