My One Despair by Burgoa Claudia

Author:Burgoa, Claudia
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

Thirty-One

Tess

I couldn’t eat or get out of my bed for a couple of days. My phone rang nonstop until the battery died. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. George, my tortoise, was the only one who didn’t give a fuck about my emotional state and made sure that I fed him.

On Saturday morning, there was a knock on my door. I ignored it for a long time until I heard her voice, “Open the door Tess or I’ll have to call your dad.”

I gave in and opened for her. It was better to deal with Sadie than my father who would want to kill Gage.

“Hey,” I greeted Sadie, holding George who liked to escape if we got distracted while opening the door.

The little guy was fast and hard to catch. Gage wasn’t around to chase him. I couldn’t help but start crying knowing that he wouldn’t come back again.

“This is worse than I thought,” Sadie said, entering and shutting the door behind her. “What happened?”

Between sobs and cries, I told her everything from the time when I came back from Reykjavik to the last text we exchanged.

“Nothing makes sense,” she said. “He … he didn’t give you a real explanation.”

“I know, and I wouldn’t even believe that he had the baby, but I heard her and then saw her.”

Another wave of sadness hit me right in the heart, and I wept for a long time. “I can’t believe he destroyed everything. He broke us. I hope it was worth it.”

“We’re human, and we make mistakes,” she explained. Sadie liked to study human behavior and always had an explanation for why we did things. “Sometimes we break patterns and take another road because it seems the best at that moment. You won’t know what happened until he gives you a real explanation.”

“He only said, ‘it’s complicated.’ From what I understood, he wanted me to live with what he told me, and didn’t even mention what would happen with his baby mama.”

“He wants you in his life?”

“Yeah,” I answered, using the sleeve of my long shirt to clean the tears. “But maybe just as a friend. He didn’t even ask me if I’d take him and the baby.”

“Would you forgive him and accept the baby?”

I glanced at her and asked. “What would you do if Dad had cheated?”

“Cheating is such an abstract concept. It depends on the circumstances, the person. I can’t say what I’d do if I were in your shoes. Forgiving him doesn’t make you weak, or strong. It makes you … human.”

“I tried to hate her,” I confessed.

“Who?” Sadie frowned, confused.

“Jojo, his baby,” I responded. “I couldn’t, I just can’t. It’s like …”

“She’s a part of him and that makes you love her.” Sadie answered almost the same way I did when I saw Jojo’s picture.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“It happened to me twice,” she paused and smiled at me. “Not the hate part but falling in love with a kid. Feeling like they belong to you as if they were your own.

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