Mending the Moon by Susan Palwick

Author:Susan Palwick
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Tom Doherty Associates

12

“Don’t throw that out, please.” Anna, wrapped in wool and Gore-Tex against the damp March cold, has just come in from walking the dog. William’s standing at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, going through the mail, quickly sorting it into Real and Junk. He’s put the latest CC issue on the Junk pile.

“What?” He picks up an envelope, waves it: some zero-interest credit card offer. “You need another card?”

“No, William.” She unclips Bart’s leash; he shakes himself, shedding water, and ambles up to William for a pat. “Comrade Cosmos.”

“Oh, okay.” She’s on the living room side of the breakfast bar. He slides the shrink-wrapped issue across to her. “Somewhere in there it should explain how to cancel the subscription. We should have done it ages ago.”

“I don’t want to cancel it.” She tries to keep her voice mild. She usually gets the mail, so he doesn’t realize she hasn’t been tossing the issues. “I’m reading those.”

William looks at her, eyebrows raised. “Really.”

“Yes, really.”

He frowns now. “Huh. You okay?”

That, she thinks, has to be the stupidest question anyone has ever asked her. “Of course I’m not okay. Neither are you. But that’s beside the point.”

He shakes his head. “Speak for yourself. I’m fine.”

She just looks at him. She doesn’t even know how to respond to this, but his head’s cocked in the attitude that means he’s waiting for an answer. She chooses her words carefully. “You’re functioning. We’re both functioning. You’re back at work. We’re paying the bills. We get up every morning and eat breakfast and do what’s necessary. But we’re not fine. Not individually, not together. Our only son killed himself four months ago after raping and murdering a stranger. If we were fine, something would be very wrong.”

William’s staring at her as if she’s speaking Martian, perhaps because this is the longest set of sentences she’s directed at him since Percy died. Then he frowns, almost imperceptibly. “Percy wasn’t fine. We are, Anna.” Individually, or together? She doesn’t dare ask. “We can’t blame ourselves.”

She feels like she’s juggling ten-ton weights. Her eyes ache. “With or without blame, there’s still grief.” And now she feels like a fortune cookie. Great. “Don’t you miss him?”

He’s frowning again. “Of course I miss him. Dwelling on it won’t do any good. You need to get out of the house more. It really helps.”

I was just out of the house, she thinks. I’m the only one who walks the damn dog anymore. “Maybe I do, William. But joining clubs and committees wouldn’t fix this, even if they’d have me.” He knows Blake kicked her off the board. She hasn’t had the courage to attend her knitting group, since the woman who hosts it is another Blake parent. “I’ll plan Kip’s opening, and I’ll probably enjoy it, but that’s it. When is the opening, anyway? Has he scheduled it yet?”

“He went to another gallery.”

“He what?” Anna’s genuinely shocked. “How could he do that? You gave him his first show when no one else

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