Love Busters by Willard F. Harley Jr

Author:Willard F. Harley, Jr. [Willard F. Harley, Jr.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAM030000, FAM029000
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group

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Whenever you ignore your spouse’s interests and feelings, you are destroying your emotional bond.

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Slowly but surely Kay was finding Brian’s lifestyle increasingly intolerable. Eventually she woke up to the realization that they had nothing but their children to keep them together.

In most marriages, independent behavior is the primary cause of fights. When you behave as if your spouse doesn’t exist, your spouse’s Taker won’t tolerate it, and will encourage him or her to go to war with you. But Brian and Kay didn’t fight. They made very few demands of each other, were rarely disrespectful, and never had an angry outburst. Instead of fighting, Kay simply let Brian’s independent behavior drain her Love Bank, and that was the reason she started thinking about divorce—she had lost her love for him.

To some extent, Kay felt that Brian had the right to make independent decisions. So she could see no solution to their problem. While in theory she wanted to become emotionally reconnected to Brian, she couldn’t see herself joining him in each room of his house. By this time, she was even unwilling to invite him into her rooms—she wasn’t attracted to him anymore. And yet, if she was to become emotionally bonded to him again, they had to become integrated into every aspect of each other’s lives.

I told Brian that if he wanted a happy marriage, Kay’s feelings and interests had to be considered in every decision he made. As equal partners, they should create a completely integrated lifestyle, enjoyable for both of them. That, in turn, would lead to the emotional bonding Kay needed to restore the sexual relationship they had once enjoyed. And, more importantly, it would turn a divorce in the making into the partnership that they should have had all along.

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