Let Me Alone by Anna Kavan

Author:Anna Kavan [Kavan, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Peter Owen Publishers
Published: 2014-06-30T20:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

MATTHEW took Anna to Richmond on the District Railway; which was a new experience for her. She was rather intrigued by the blunt-snouted electric trains nosing in and out of the tunnels. Hitherto her experience of travel had been mainly limited to motor-cars and first-class compartments.

Matthew was a little apologetic about it all. His eyes had a curious expression, humble and resentful together, as though the memory of the luxury to which she was accustomed had suddenly begun to insult him.

‘I’m afraid it won’t be quite the sort of life you’ve been used to,’ he said, with a sort of defiant humility. ‘You must take us as you find us.’

She understood that he was apologizing for his home. It surprised her rather. Were these things so important? She had never had any cause to consider them.

About three o’clock in the afternoon they arrived at Richmond station. Winter was very near. All was grey and dismal. Anna felt that the place repudiated her. If possible, she would have taken the next train back to town.

Matthew made some arrangement about the luggage, while she stood still, watching a man who was wheeling two bicycles up the platform. She felt cut off from every support. In her discouragement she looked at Matthew.

‘Shall we walk? It is only a little way,’ he said.

‘Very well,’ she agreed, spiritless.

They went out of the station and began to walk up the street. Presently they turned to the left between some small shops, and crossed a churchyard. The gravestones were like a mouthful of irregular teeth, beginning to decay. Anna was cold and dispirited.

‘It’s not far now,’ Matthew said, scrutinizing her. He seemed slightly anxious. Did he feel her dismay? She stared away bleakly at the doddering stones. ‘We shall soon be there.’

They entered a long alley between high walls. There were gardens behind, with houses looming. Slowly they traversed the long alley. Anna felt like an insect crawling in a narrow crack. They walked fast, but seemed to make no progress. She plodded on – cold – and rather despairing.

At the end of the alley came a road with villas, and a dog barking; they crossed another road, more important, then down a steep little hill beside a tea-house, and out on to another road. They now seemed to have dropped to a much lower level. There was a low-lying mistiness in the air.

‘Here we are,’ said Matthew.

Anna saw a large square building standing on the road, with a row of dark bushes in front, evergreen shrubs and ivy. An old-fashioned bell-pull hung down dejected, beside the door. Matthew gave it a tug.

‘You must take us as you find us, you know,’ he said again. He seemed to expect her to turn up her nose at everything.

The repetition of the stupid phrase was annoying.

‘How else could I take you?’ she snapped at him.

He gave her a sharp look out of his blue eyes, censorious. Then he looked down at his hands and fidgeted. She could not tell whether he was angry or abashed.

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