Lessons from the Navy by Mark Brouker

Author:Mark Brouker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2020-09-13T00:00:00+00:00

Leadership Lesson

A culture of fear breeds unwise decisions. A precursor to a culture of fear—disrespectful behavior—impedes team performance by hindering one’s ability to learn, reason, comprehend, plan, and analyze.

At that time, we still had children in high school and middle school. I’ve always been mindful of my work-life balance. However, I knew this tour was going to be a challenge and vowed to be careful not to neglect my family.

What I did not factor into my time management equation was a boss who would enter my work space at the end of every day and talk for an extended time about mostly non-work-related topics. Initially it was helpful in that these discussions strengthened our relationship, and I knew my boss’s heart was in the right place. However, after a month or so, I started to resent these conversations. I wanted to get home at a reasonable hour to be with my family.

It’s important to know that I love a quick banter with colleagues around the “water cooler” on any number of topics—family, hobbies, sports, news. The key word here is “quick.” The challenge that I faced with my boss is that these conversations were anything but quick. They would extend for lengthy periods—fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes or more.

I dropped subtle hints. I’d start cleaning up the desk area or tactfully mention a family event that we had planned for that evening. Nothing worked. In retrospect, it’s obvious that I should have simply approached my boss in a respectful and calm manner. I did consider this. However, he was my boss and had a big influence on my professional future. I wasn’t sure how such a conversation would go. It was risky. Ultimately, I weighed my options and, as painful as it was, decided to ride it out.

Here’s the vitally important lesson that I learned from this experience: No one is going to tell the boss to stop talking. It’s easy to end a conversation with a colleague with a quick “Great talking to you, but I’ve got to go. Let’s catch up later!” Not so with a boss. As was discussed briefly in chapter 4, employees will appear riveted as the boss provides a detailed play-by-play description of their twelve-year-old daughter’s latest soccer game. While they appear captivated, the unlucky employee is desperately scrambling for some way—any way—to escape without harming the relationship. Not a fun position to be in.

There’s an acronym that fits this theme perfectly. It’s WAIT, which stand for “Why Am I Talking.” It’s an excellent reminder that bantering with direct reports is a double-edged sword. Therefore, it is incumbent on you, as the leader, to keep conversations appropriately short. Be respectful of others’ time. By demonstrating this subtle sign of respect, you’ll better use these interactions as opportunities to build trust.

Another form of disrespect is micromanaging—when the boss provides excessive oversight. Luckily, during my Navy career, I did not work for many micromanaging bosses. Most were great mentors. However, later in my Navy career, I did work for a classic micromanager.

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