Just Ten Seconds by Colette Jeannine

Author:Colette, Jeannine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Jeannine Colette
Published: 2019-10-17T16:00:00+00:00

“I used to be close with my mother,” I tell the group in the third weekly meeting I’ve attended. “She worked a lot. She had to. It was just us.

“She convinced me to go to college and earn a degree in something that would support me even if a man left me. That was her big concern. ‘Men leave. They always leave.’ ”

I tug at the hem of my sweater. There’s a loose thread, so I pull.

“That’s why we don’t talk like we used to. She doesn’t understand why I grieve. ‘What are you so depressed about?’ she asked. ‘You have a few dollars in the bank. My husband walked out, leaving me with a toddler and a mortgage.’ What my mother didn’t—still doesn’t—understand or care about really is that I want nothing to do with money. It’s not important. Not as much as the family that I so desperately wanted.”

The thread on my shirt unravels the seam, unfolding the material, leaving me to look through the tiny holes in the fabric.

“She doesn’t think she hurts people with her words. She believes she’s empowering you. Telling you to get back on your feet and move on. I always admired that about her. Until she said it was for the best,” I stutter.

“Take your time, Mara,” Tracey speaks softly.

I shake my head in disbelief. “I wanted that family with Benjamin so bad. And when I lost it, she said it was for the best. ‘Move on. Forget about the past. It’s God’s way of closing the door.’ ”

My head rolls back as I take a deep breath. A tear trickles down my cheek, followed by another. “We don’t talk anymore. Not like we used to. Part of me understands what she’s saying. She’s a woman with no education who was left with a daughter to raise. She hardened at a young age. There was no one to help her. It’s just the way she goes about it. It makes you feel obsolete. Weak. I am my mother’s daughter. I keep moving on. I can put up a front on the outside and keep going. Where we differ is on the inside. I hurt. For so many reasons, I hurt. She’ll never understand that.”

“It sounds like your mother is protecting herself. While she is causing you grief, this is her way of sheltering herself from the vulnerability. These feelings you are experiencing are raw. No one wants to feel that pain. So, they put up a shield. Many people lose friends and family after the death of a loved one.”

Lauren raises her hand, and Tracey gives her the go-ahead to join the conversation. “When Ryan died, I lost a lot of my friends. At first, everyone was checking up on me, making sure I wasn’t suicidal. When they learned I wasn’t, they vanished. Mostly because I just wanted to cry all the time. They said they couldn’t be around me because I was too depressing. Then, when I started hanging out at

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