Jon Scieszka - Time Warp Trio 08 by It's All Greek To Me

Author:It's All Greek To Me
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2012-06-25T22:31:51+00:00

SEVEN

“Give me the apple,” said Hera. “I will give you power and riches.”

“Give me the apple,” said Athena. “I will give you victories and wisdom.”

“Give me the apple,” said Aphrodite. “I will give you the love of the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I stood in the middle of Mount Olympus, holding a gold spray-painted plastic apple, trapped like a rat. No matter which goddess I chose, I would be in deep trouble with the other two.

Zeus smiled a mean smile. It reminded me of the nasty kind of smile Mr. Snide would give us in history class while he was assigning a monster history project due the day after vacation.

I hefted the apple, thinking. The love of the most beautiful woman in the world wouldn’t do me much good in math class or on the basketball team. So it was down to either Hera or Athena.

I looked at Sam and Fred.

“Pick Hera,” said Fred. “You’ll be rich forever. Plus, you’ll be powerful enough to beat up anybody who doesn’t like it.”

“Athena is the obvious choice,” said Sam. “Brains are what’s important. You’ll be smart enough to make all the money you want, and figure out any problem.”

“Well?” said Zeus. “Come on, already. Who’s the fairest?”

Fred’s argument made some sense. But Sam’s made more sense. I could give the apple to Athena, get wisdom, and then figure out how to get us out of this Greek myth jam without getting fried by Zeus or torn to shreds by two angry goddesses.

I held the apple out in front of me. “The golden apple goes to—”

I looked at Hera. I started to give the apple to Athena. But then I looked at Aphrodite. She smiled. My heart stopped beating for a second. A hot wave washed over my head. Voices and sounds rushed to a pinpoint roaring in my ears. I was in love.

“The app … ulll… goth … to …” I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t think. I stumbled through my fog toward Aphrodite.

“She’s cheating!” yelled Athena. “She’s using her Love Ray again.”

Something whacked me on the back of my head. It was Ares, Aphrodite’s boyfriend. He was not happy, and he was getting ready to whack me again. That was too much for Fred.

Now Fred is one of those guys who gets a lot of comments in his school reports about “self control” and “focus.” But you know what I like about

Fred? If he sees one of his friends in trouble, he jumps right into the rumble. And that’s exactly what he did to save me on Mount Olympus.

Fred threw down his thunderbolt. He hopped onto the arm of Hera’s throne and launched himself into the air. He yelled a crazy Tarzan kind of yell, landed on Ares’ shoulders, and wrapped his arms around Ares’ helmeted head.

Ares swung around blindly, slicing off the tip of Zeus’s beard with his spear.

Zeus roared. Dionysus screamed.

Ares, still blinded by Fred’s arms, swung his spear in dangerous circles. Artemis dodged the sharp tip and tried to pull Fred off Ares.

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