It's All Greek to Me by Jon Scieszka

Author:Jon Scieszka [Scieszka, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Juvenile Fiction, Humorous Stories
ISBN: 9781442054684
Publisher: Baker & Taylor, CATS
Published: 2009-05-20T23:00:00+00:00

"The Book?"

said Fred.

"Very funny," said Hestia, smoothing my hair just like my mom does.

"Thanks," I said. "But we do have our own Mount Olympus we have to get back to for opening night. So if we could just take a peek at

The Book and—"

"It's such a shame," said Hera. "Zeus missed everything."

A familiar whoosh of feathers and burst of light filled Mount Olympus. "ZEUS MISSED

WHAT?" said Zeus, suddenly appearing on his throne.

"Well look who's here," said Hera. "King Thunderhead. I'm sorry you missed it. The boys have to go. Hestia, do you know where the blue book is?"

"Of course," said Hestia, Goddess of the home. "It's on the bookshelf."

"NOT SO FAST," thundered Zeus, crackling and shooting off little sparks. He looked a little shocked and frazzled since we

saw him last. "Your new friends were going to trade me the book for that thunderbolt there."

He pointed to Fred's aluminum foil weapon. "But I just met up with Typhon and a gang of monsters and had a rather electrifying meeting

..." Zeus looked me square in the eye, "if you know what I mean."

I knew what he meant. The jig was up. Just like in our play, Zeus had met the monsters and they had the real thunderbolts.

And now he knew we were fakes.

I had a sudden brainstorm. If we could get our hands on The Book for even just a second, we could disappear in a puff of green mist before anyone could stop us.

"You know what?" I said. "I just remembered a great trick. Give me The Book and I'll show you the best trick of all."

Zeus sat, still smoking and popping from his run-in with the monsters and the thunderbolts.

Hestia came back with something wrapped in a golden cloth.

"Here's the book," she said.

We were home free. I reached for the bundle.

"I don't think so," said Zeus. He took the bundle, looked at me, and smiled a cruel smile. "Why don't you do the trick where you give the golden apple to the goddess it belongs to."

My heart stopped.

"It's for the fairest," said Hera. "It's obviously for me."

"For the fairest?" said Athena. "Obviously me."

"The fairest?" said Aphrodite. "That would be me."

"Who's the fairest?" said Zeus.

I clutched the golden apple. I didn't dare look at Hera, Athena, or Aphrodite. I didn't know who was the fairest. But I did know that this wasn't Sara, Jessica, or Cynthia I was messing with, and no matter which goddess I chose, I would be the deadest.

SEVEN

"Give me the apple," said Hera. "I will give you power and riches."

"Give me the apple," said Athena. "I will give you victories and wisdom."

"Give me the apple," said Aphrodite. "I will give you the love of the most beautiful woman in the world."

I stood in the middle of Mount Olympus, holding a gold spray-painted plastic apple, trapped like a rat. No matter which goddess I chose, I would be in deep trouble with the other two.

Zeus smiled a mean smile. It reminded me of the nasty kind of smile Mr.

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