Fight Less, Love More by Laurie Puhn

Author:Laurie Puhn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rodale
Published: 2010-03-13T05:00:00+00:00

3. Public Criticism

When one partner stops censoring his or her public comments and gets pleasure out of putting the other one down in front of friends or family, a serious disconnect and lack of respect are evident. It’s a lot easier to cheat without feeling guilty when you don’t have compassion for your mate.

4. Increased Focus on Relationship Inequities

No marriage has an equal division of tasks and responsibilities. Every couple has to find a balance that works for them with the goal of meeting the needs of the common good—the “we,” not the “me.” Usually if one partner wants the balance to change, he or she negotiates with the other. But according to research, and based on my clients’ experiences, once you feel disconnected from a relationship, you often focus on how much you are putting in and how little you are getting back. The inequities loom large and go unresolved, allowing someone who feels that he or she is getting a raw deal to feel that cheating is justifiable.

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