Disability and the Way of Jesus by Bethany McKinney Fox

Author:Bethany McKinney Fox [Fox, Bethany McKinney]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780830872381
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2019-05-28T00:00:00+00:00

As a sophomore in college, after a Friday night worship service, I was sitting on the beach with some friends who had also been at the service. Our discussion moved to healing prayer. One girl spoke about how God had miraculously lengthened one of her legs, which had been a little shorter than the other one, and told us about people from another congregation who were currently in our area praying for peoples’ healing.

At this point in my life, I was just coming to terms with the fact that I had a chronic illness, which had been causing me terrible pain and fatigue for years. So, I summoned up the courage to be vulnerable in front of the group and asked if they would pray for me, right then and there on the beach. I wanted to see what God might do, and I also just wanted my friends to be aware that I was in pain and know what I was going through.

What happened next surprised me. The girl who had been speaking about the people from the healing church said that it would be best if they waited and didn’t pray for me right then and there, but rather let the people from this other church pray for me later. There was an awkward silence and no pushback from the rest of the group (probably because everyone assumed this girl was the authority on healing among us). That night, nobody prayed for me. I felt really sad and later concluded that I wasn’t interested in meeting with the folks from the other church. Any movement that influenced my friends to not pray for me wasn’t something I wanted any part of.

Perhaps I shouldn’t blame the folks from the other church for the girl’s response. So, I’ll leave them out of this for now. And I’ve long since forgiven the girl. But in the ten years since this event, I have learned to watch out for any healing ministries that focus on the miraculous spiritual gifts without evidencing Christ-like hospitality and the normal fruits of God’s Spirit. I follow this rule when it comes to healing ministries: if something feels weird about it, there probably is something weird about it. I’m not saying that I should never leave my comfort zone, or that God never works in ways that seem odd to me at first. But I think I know enough about God’s character to recognize a healthy healing ministry when I encounter one—even if I still have plenty of questions about healing.

How do I feel about my chronic illness now? I have less hope in a miraculous healing than I once did. As an act of faith, from time to time I do ask God to simply take away my illness, since I haven’t sensed God directing me to not ask for healing. But normally my requests are smaller—God, give me someone to talk to about my pain, or help me get a good meal this afternoon, or help me complete my work despite my difficulty concentrating.

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