Designed to Heal by Jennie A. McLaurin & Cymbeline Tancongco Culiat

Author:Jennie A. McLaurin & Cymbeline Tancongco Culiat [McLaurin, Jennie A. & Culiat, Cymbeline Tancongco]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Counseling & Recovery, HEALTH & FITNESS / Healing
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2021-08-03T00:00:00+00:00

Keep the wound boundaries clean

Boundaries are odd things. Many are sites of contention rather than healing. We make boundaries to decide who is in and who is out. We separate and take sides. When we own property, our boundary lines tell us how much space we have between our neighbors, who are only welcome on our side of the line if we invite them. As parents, we tell our children not to cross that line! When a therapist says someone has poor boundaries, it is not a compliment. Human boundaries are about ownership, rights, and personal identity.

The natural inclination is to think of unpleasant restrictions when we think of boundaries. It is even like being bound. Rather than enjoying our boundary lines as places of refuge and safety, we often see our boundary lines as limiting—places of challenge, fear, and conflict. We operate from a sense of scarcity, wanting more. Wars are fought over boundary lines. Walls are built. Captives are taken.

But we can see boundaries either as hemming us in or as giving us freedom. In Psalm 16, David takes this second perspective. He says that the boundary lines have fallen for him in pleasant places and that he has a delightful inheritance.[3] Yet this is a psalm spoken in the context of danger. David recites this as he is being pursued by enemies who want to kill him! He is uncertain of his kingdom and his future in it. It’s not as if he just won the lottery and he is saying a nice thank-you to God.

How and why does David say this? As a member of the tribe of Judah, David is heir to land that borders enemy territory and contains large tracts of wilderness. This strategic portion of land has been promised to the Jews through God’s covenant with them, but constant attacks from neighboring ethnic groups seem to challenge the reality of that covenant promise. David is relying on his memory when every circumstance tells him he is doomed. He rises above the present conflict by recalling what has been promised to him and trusting in God’s ongoing faithfulness. He knows where his boundary lines begin and end.

Like David, I try to trust my boundary lines when life seems to be spinning out of control. It is too easy to seek security or support beyond where I’m meant to be, especially in a hard and hurtful situation. In my own life, family and work have sometimes been places where I’ve questioned my boundary lines and inheritance. I’ve wanted some expansion to my limits—to belong to a certain group, to be noticed for my sacrifices, to live a certain lifestyle. I’ve also suffered losses that make me wonder about any sense of goodness ahead—deaths of family members, rejections at work, and betrayal in leadership positions. There have been some deep wounds along the way. They’ve been full of friction and left me gasping for air. Those are perfect conditions for proud flesh to develop.

In those times, I’ve learned that visualizing the limits of the wound is helpful.

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