Conflict = Energy: The Transformative Practice of Authentic Relating by Jason Digges

Author:Jason Digges [Digges, Jason]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ART International
Published: 2020-06-27T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

Hologram

The world is a holographic universe, with every piece containing the whole.

—Marianne Williamson

So far, we have investigated how the qualities of presence, appreciation, and curiosity can powerfully accelerate our growth and emotional awareness. The previous chapters have prepared us for perhaps the most transformative aspect of Authentic Relating practice: the concept of the personal hologram.

Our “hologram” is the lens through which we experience and make meaning of the world. It is unique to every one of us, yet ubiquitous across our lives. As the old adage goes, The way we do one thing is the way we do everything. Thus, when we begin to perceive our hologram and to work directly with it, powerful change can happen remarkably quickly.

Another way to look at the hologram is as a fully three-dimensional picture, giving us a full view of something in its entirety from any angle. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a hologram is worth a million. Yet in Authentic Relating terms, “seeing our hologram” means much more than simply seeing the details of ourselves. It means welcoming each detail as both valid in its own right, revealing and ultimately transforming the parts that aren’t serving us. Through this process, we become more aware, awake, and whole.

When we glimpse our personal hologram and then come to understand it, we become tapped into massive potential for rapid growth. This backward step is akin to seeing our own eyeballs, or being able to “bend” The Matrix. One of the great powers of Authentic Relating practice is this revelation of our relational blind spots. Each of us is limited in what we can perceive, and we need each other to be able to clearly see ourselves. Community is the primary resource we have for waking up to, integrating, and beginning to free ourselves from the past relational limitations we were not consciously aware of.

A clear insight into one’s hologram can feel like a lightning bolt. These epiphanies can show us the internal patterns that have been shaping our entire lives. Often, we discover patterns that have been directing the course of our relationships for years and even decades—hidden in plain sight. These realizations, however humbling they may be, are in fact an opportunity to radically change our relational habits for the better. The more we incorporate Authentic Relating practice into our everyday lives, the more of these “lighting strikes” we can experience.

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