Chasing Down the Dawn by Jewel

Author:Jewel [Kilcher, Jewel,]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-062-03046-7
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2000-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Tour Bus—Somewhere, Ohio

The road hisses by. I will never again be so young as I am now. I look in the mirror on the bus as I write. Still fresh-faced and not hardened. But each lamppost that passes outside, each mile, each minivan-minivan-minivan that blasts by on the highway takes with it seconds of my attention, minutes of my mindfulness, and hours of my life. Each truck stop and show and airport and heartache and victory shaves away at what is left of my feeling of newness, so that now I am wondering: Am I spending my time wisely? I only possess each second, each moment once, and if I am not conscious of each moment then I do not possess it at all. Am I wasting myself on something false? On pettiness, jealousy, fear, or empty thought? On pop stardom? Am I proud of how I’ve lived so far? When I take the final inventory of my life, will this moment be vivid and significant or just another forgettable detail in a long dull dream?

I peek through a corner of the window onto the streets flying by. How I long to be more conscious, more aware, more alive, not wasting myself on things that take me farther from myself like hatred, fear, worry, and gossip, but constantly reinvesting my energy in the things that make me feel vital … like being still … like writing what I know is real rather than what I know will make a hit … like kissing a man in the humid rain showers of Texas … and learning to love all people as I love God and all things.

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