Beautiful Disaster by C.J

Author:C.J.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: comedy, black comedy, dark comedy, dark humor, thriller, techno thriller, adventure, action and adventure, apocalypse, apocalyptic, absurd, strong female protagonist, strong female lead, crazy situations, gun battles, end of the world, suspense, suspenseful, friendship, action, silly, nanotechnology, midwest, chemistry, university, professor, strong women, sociopath, conspiracy, cabal, shadowy government figures, sci fi, science fiction, dystopian, dark government agency, mercenaries, mercenary, hired mercenaries, humorous fiction, goverernment cover-up, cover-up, pandemic, eternal youth, eternal life, eternal beauty, immortal, immortality, Dave Barry, Michael Crichton, Tim Dorsey, Christopher Moore, experiments, lab experiments, chaotic comedy, chaos, Joan Hess, new fiction books, new fantasy fiction books, college professor, feminist fiction books, chemist, scientist, action books, new fiction, thriller fiction books, novel fiction books, novel books, comedy fiction books
Publisher: C.J.
Published: 2018-09-07T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

THE WORLD WASN’T ALMOST annihilated by crazies who pop out of hiding, see their shadow and hit a button that they never should have had access to. It wasn’t imploded by invisible particles banging into each other without so much as an introduction Instead, the world was almost destroyed, by something natural for God’s sake. Fruits and green leaves. The Mom mantra, “no cookies or candy, have a piece of fruit instead.”

There was a time when stories were double-checked for facts, and if someone was interviewed, they were also checked to make sure they weren’t a walk away from the nearest padded mattress outlet and if they were, that fact would at least be mentioned somewhere in the story. Unfortunately, those days are gone, long gone. Within minutes of Tranwrach’s diarrhea of the mouth, fruit sales and face cream sales skyrocketed, along with senseless pandemonium. In certain parts of the world, there was no change in the senseless violence other than various fruit being added to the mix.

At the university, a small riot broke out around the cafeteria’s salad bar. After security had been called and the remaining fruit had been shoved into backpacks, bras, and down pants, six students were taken to the infirmary for broken fingers, bloody noses, and one ripped earlobe. The missing piece of flesh and earring attached thereto were still being searched for in the three bean salad by university security.

Maggie asked one of the bean salad search team members what the hell was going on. He informed, “There was a breaking news story about just discovered fountain of youth formula. Apparently, the ingredients are fruit and some other green leafy stuff, and they gave out the exact receipt on the air. I bet it’s like any other fad diet or face cream. Probably make you break out into purple spots. Hey, does this look like part of an earlobe or a string bean to you?”

“Bean” Maggie replied faintly and raced out of the cafeteria.

“Danny?” breathed Maggie into the phone after sprinting all the way from the cafeteria to her office, leaving the bean salad search team member continuing his lengthy conversation with the salad bar’s sneeze shield before realizing she had fled the area.

“Yes?”

“We're fucked.”

“What, right now, Mag’s. Where are you?”

“Damn, will you pay attention! I’m saying we are fucked. Have you seen the news? Somehow the formula, and all its ingredients, including the nanotechnology, was leaked. Did we get the money from the Chinese? Are we good?

Hello? Danny? Are you still there? Did you forget to breathe? Is Kevin there? If Kevin is there, hand him the phone.”

“Hello, Maggie? Why isn’t Danny breathing? What happened? Is it good news or bad news?” asked Kevin

“Hit Danny so he'll start breathing again,” Maggie told Kevin.

“Oww!”

“Good. Thanks, Kevin. Someone leaked the formula, all of it. People everywhere are buying fruit and the other natural ingredients. They are buying the formula’s ingredients in droves, plus anything that has nanotechnology in it. It’s not my formula but its close and should show similar effects.

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