500 Dates by Mark Miller

Author:Mark Miller [Miller, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2013-12-31T17:00:00+00:00

The Sounds of Dating Silence

As far as I know, there are no such things as federal laws pertaining to dating etiquette. Oh, sure, there was that book The Rules several years back, but those weren’t federal laws; those were simply man-made, or rather, woman-made rules or suggestions. As to why there are no federal laws governing dating etiquette—it’s no doubt a matter of practicality. If there were actual laws governing dating behavior, no way would there be even one-eighth the necessary jail cells available to hold all the men who regularly violate said dating laws.

Of course, every now and then one encounters a dating law violator of the female persuasion. Which brings me to my recent date with Marina.

Admittedly, I would never have pegged Marina as the date lawbreaking type. Attractive, intelligent, sensitive, good sense of humor, and most importantly—seemed to really like me. Our meeting on an online singles site led to very encouraging e-mailing, phoning, and finally, the all-important first meeting—lunch, my treat, where there seemed to be good chemistry, ending with her suggesting that I call her to set up date number two. So far, so good.

Of course, that was back in the good old days, before Marina and my relationship took several sudden and (at least on my part) unexpected turns toward The Dark Side. The afternoon following our lunch, I called Marina, reached her voice mail, and left a message thanking her for a lovely lunch, saying how much I enjoyed meeting her and that I was very much looking forward to our next date, which we can arrange when she calls me back.

I’m big on courtesy and appreciation, both giving it and receiving it, and was a bit disappointed that I hadn’t already gotten a “thanks for the lunch/nice meeting you” e-mail from Marina. But I realize not everyone thinks like I do; otherwise the world would be even scarier. I’ll probably get that thank-you when she calls me back, I reasoned.

As it turned out, it’s a good thing I’m not a wait-by-the-phone-for-a-return-call kind of guy. Because Marina did not return my call that afternoon, evening, the following day, or even the day after that. Unless, God forbid, something terrible happened to her, thereby immobilizing her, it slowly dawned on me that People magazine would most likely not be reserving photo space for me and Marina in their Lovers of the Year issue.

Any reasonable man in this situation would have simply gotten the silent message loud and clear, written Marina off, and moved on to greener, more appreciative pastures. But this is me we’re talking about. I felt the need to let Marina know that although I got the message (or lack thereof) that she was not interested in meeting again, I felt it was discourteous on her part to a) not e-mail a “thank you for lunch, it was nice meeting you, but I didn’t feel the magic, good luck” kind of acknowledgment, and b) to have ignored my call after she invited me to call.

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