48 Hours to a Stronger Marriage by Bob Bowersox

Author:Bob Bowersox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2011-02-28T16:00:00+00:00

5

THE METHOD

Speak what we feel; not what we ought to say.

—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, KING LEAR

THERE ARE NEARLY AS MANY WAYS to approach Reacquaintance as there are couples. But common to every scenario are certain “musts”—necessary components of the process that will ensure that you get the most from Reacquaintance.

First Steps

The first step in Reacquaintance is to decide, as a couple, that you need to do something to bring yourselves closer together. This may take some discussion, particularly if one of you is hesitant. Don’t be afraid to broach the subject to your partner; having the courage to say what you feel is key to Reacquaintance. And remember, your partner is the one person in the world you love more than any other, the person with whom you’ve been most intimate on any number of levels. Trust each other. And trust yourself—you can do it because this coming together, this closing up of the Intimacy Gap, is exactly the thing you’ve been hoping to do for so very long.

After you’ve both made a commitment to Reacquaintance—or even before you get to that stage—familiarize yourself with the chapters in the book, I and 2, that explain why most of us have lost touch with our mates. If you haven’t already, both of you should read through the section on the research that’s been done on this subject so that you understand how the Intimacy Gap opens up and how you can go about closing it. That way you’ll have a better idea of what you’re aiming for with Reacquaintance.

It’s also important that you understand “The Ground Rules,” the positions of Speaker and Listener, and the best methods of acting, reacting, and interacting during the process of Reacquaintance. Like all itineraries, it’s meant to guide you through the best routes and help you make the most of your trip. But this is nothing if not a personal journey. Don’t be afraid to venture off on your own if you feel the urge.

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