1001 Great Ideas for Teaching & Raising Children With Autism or Asperger's by Ellen Notbohm & Veronica Zysk & Temple Grandin

Author:Ellen Notbohm & Veronica Zysk & Temple Grandin [Notbohm, Ellen & Zysk, Veronica & Grandin, Temple]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Psychology, Children With Special Needs, Psychopathology, Autism Spectrum Disorders
ISBN: 9781935274063
Google: GnAh6JmCE0EC
Amazon: 1935274066
Publisher: Future Horizons
Published: 2010-02-27T00:00:00+00:00

First, be honest about whether your

child is ready to attend such an event.

If he truly can’t keep all four legs of

his chair on the floor, gets easily

overloaded in a room full of people

and noise, still thinks a fork is for

combing hair, and eats applesauce

with his fingers, it may be kinder to

all to leave him with a sitter this

time.

Visit the venue—restaurant, house of

worship—with

your

child

beforehand to give her a visual

image.

Explain what the event is (wedding,

bar mitzvah, grandparent’s birthday,

family reunion) and what will happen

at the event. What will she be

expected to do? Sit quietly during the

service, sign a guest book, get food

from a buffet?

If possible, arrange seating where

she will be able to see the event.

However, if you think she may not

make it through the entire event, sit

where you can take her out

unobtrusively.

Preview the menu and, if it is not

appropriate for your child, ask the

hotel or restaurant for a special meal.

Most are glad to do it. Offer to pay

separately. If special arrangements

are not possible, bring something for

your child as inconspicuously as

possible, or feed her beforehand so

she is not sitting around ravenously

watching everyone else eat. When

you’ve done what you can, don’t

sweat it further. Holidays and events

are so exciting for many children they

don’t eat much anyway.

Teach him a simple introduction and,

if he can tolerate it, a handshake.

Let him know there will be lots of

people there, but he doesn’t have to

hug or kiss anyone he doesn’t want

to, especially strangers. Then stay

close to support him in this. “Josh

prefers not to hug,” delivered in a

pleasant, unapologetic tone of voice

is perfectly acceptable.

Give appropriate fifteen-, ten- and

five-minute warnings, then leave

while he’s still having fun and the

memories will be good. In other

words, before the too-much-party

meltdown.

Having him tell the host “thank you

for inviting me” before leaving puts

nice closure on the event.

QUICK IDEA

A few months

before a holiday, ask

your child’s speech

language pathologist

to begin teaching

holiday vocabulary,

and incorporate topic

boards and

conversation related

to the event.

Never forget that autism has given your

child the gifts of rote memory, imitative

speech and literal interpretation. Refrain

from wondering aloud in the car on the

way to the party if Uncle Joe will over-

imbibe as usual, unless you want to hear

little Hannah check in later with “I want to

sit with Uncle Joe so I can see if he really

does drink like a fish!”

To hug or not to hug

Nowadays we teach all children, under

the banner of “stranger danger” and child-

abuse prevention, to protest any touch that

makes them uncomfortable. Children with

autism experience this tenfold. Many have

an aversion to hugs and kisses, even from

well-meaning relatives whom they may or

may not know well. The reasons are

many: the contact comes without warning,

the person hugging him smells funny, the

touch is too light or too harsh, it disturbs

his

vestibular

or

proprioceptive

equilibrium.

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