You're the Worst Person in the World by Scarlet Hiltibidal

Author:Scarlet Hiltibidal
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: RELIGION/Christian Living/Women's Interests
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Published: 2022-04-05T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

Worst Girlfriend

I broke up with my high school/college boyfriend of four and a half years by throwing my cubic zirconia promise ring at him. While also saying bad words. I’m sorry—screaming bad words is more accurate.

You would have thought he’d betrayed me or murdered my family dog or left me for dead in a ditch or something. But he was actually a really great guy. He simply thought it was time for us to take a break. I will never forget sobbing on my front porch, while he looked at the ground and said, “Scarlet, I’m just too important to you. I think you love me more than you love God …”

I denied it. I cried. I yelled. I acted like an insane person, obvs. And he left me and the ring I threw at him right there at the doorstep. My life was over, because what he said was true. He was my life.

I had spent all of high school and my first semester of college with a single life goal in mind—be the best, most desirable girlfriend/future wife.

As a fifteen-, sixteen-, seventeen-, eighteen-, nineteen-year-old, I didn’t yet understand that real love looks like sacrifice and dying to self and serving the other person. To me, real love meant being safe, receiving flowers, and having someone to hold hands with at the movie theater on Main Street every weekend.

I had access to Seventeen magazine and informative TV shows and movies like Boy Meets World and Dawson’s Creek and Clueless. So, I felt pretty informed and confident that I knew what securing love looked like. I deduced that some primary components were:

Straightened hair

Acting like an airhead

Using vernacular like, “What-ever!” and “As if!”

Making sure my skirt was borderline short—not so short that I’d get in trouble for violating my private school dress code, but short enough that I would be able to find someone to love me.

Being completely available and always present. My mom argued that “playing hard to get” was a much better strategy. But my heart told me that if I was visible during every wrestling practice and cheering the loudest for each football touchdown, that would be a much better way to secure to-the-death romance and undying love.

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