Writing Game by David Lodge

Author:David Lodge
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781448137695
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2017-03-25T16:00:00+00:00

ACT TWO

Act Two Scene One. The following afternoon.

The barn. SIMON is standing beside the trestle table, reading LEO’s story in its yellow ringbinder, turning the leaves rapidly. A soft Italian leather overnight bag lies on the floor at his feet. SIMON is in his early thirties, dressed in loose, trendy, all-black cotton clothes, and has an expensively styled haircut. He is good-looking in a slightly Mephistophelian way. As he reads, he takes a sip from a glass of whisky on the table beside him. The telephone rings and stops after two rings. SIMON locates the answerphone and turns up the volume.

HENRY’S VOICE

… it’s an awful bore, Maude, but it looks as if Suki is pregnant. I’ve no idea who the father might be, have you? But, er, don’t worry. Everything is under control. Goodbye.

There is an electronic beep signalling the end of the message. SIMON raises an eyebrow, shrugs, switches off monitor, and carries on reading. After a few moments he looks up and glances in the direction of the door as if he has heard something. He puts the ringbinder on the table, picks up his bag, and saunters to another part of the room. The outside door opens and MAUDE, wearing a light summer jacket or cardigan, comes in, taking off sunglasses as she does so.

MAUDE

Simon! You’re early.

SIMON

I decided to drive down. Steve Rimmer lent me his Porsche while he’s on tour in Japan.

MAUDE offers her cheek to be kissed.

MAUDE

Nice to have friends so rich, and so trusting.

SIMON

Oh, Steve and I go back a long way. I used to cover his gigs when he had a heavy-metal band called The Pain Threshold. And before that we were at Cambridge together. How are you, anyway?

MAUDE

Fine, thanks.

SIMON

How’s the course going?

MAUDE

Well … you know Maurice is ill and Leo Rafkin has come in his place?

SIMON

Yes. I have an awful feeling I wrote something rather uncomplimentary about him once.

MAUDE

You did.

SIMON

Perhaps he’s forgotten.

MAUDE

He hasn’t.

SIMON

Ah. Oh well. How are you getting on with him?

MAUDE goes to sink, fills kettle and switches it on.

MAUDE

It was difficult at first. I can’t say it’s been dull. Tea?

SIMON

Thanks. You know, originally Jeremy asked me to be the other tutor on this course.

MAUDE

Yes, I suggested it.

SIMON (surprised)

Did you?

MAUDE

Yes.

SIMON (unsure how to interpret this information)

I didn’t know. Otherwise I might have agreed.

MAUDE (giving nothing away)

What a pity.

SIMON

I did it once before, and vowed never again. So I settled for the visiting writer slot.

The door opens abruptly, and LEO comes in, at first seeing only MAUDE.

LEO

Maude! Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over – (He sees SIMON and stops. He looks displeased.)

MAUDE

Leo, I believe you’ve met Simon before.

SIMON

Once, ages ago. Michigan, wasn’t it?

LEO

Chicago. I promised myself the next time I met you, I’d punch you in the nose.

SIMON

Really? What did I do to deserve that?

LEO

You wrote a very offensive article about me, in a magazine.

SIMON

Did I? Most of my articles seem to offend somebody. I’m afraid I have a deep streak of offensiveness in me.

LEO

I’m not going to argue with that.

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