Women vs Feminism by Joanna; Williams

Author:Joanna; Williams [Williams, Joanna;]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Emerald Publishing Limited
Published: 2017-09-04T22:00:00+00:00

TEACHING CONSENT

On both sides of the Atlantic, consent classes are used to educate students about the difference between rape and consensual sex. Such classes are rapidly becoming a standard part of university induction procedures; indeed, proponents argue, if students are being taught about fire regulations and health and safety requirements, then why shouldn’t they be taught about rape too? By this logic, teaching consent is as straightforward as showing students how to locate the fire escape and no more complex than asking someone if they’d like a cup of tea or a slice of cake. Students are taught that sex should only proceed following an unambiguous ‘yes’ from both parties. If one person is reluctant then they must not be put under any pressure to change their minds. Unfortunately for the consent instructors, in real life sex and relationships do not follow such a pre-determined course. Consent is not as straightforward as students are led to believe.

The idea that people should engage in a process of explicitly requesting and granting permission prior to having sex is a recent development. When I was in my first year at university in the early 1990s, I joined in with members of the women’s group who were making a ‘No Means No’ banner for a Take Back The Night march. At the time I remember thinking the slogan seemed a bit patronizing: surely everyone knew the meaning of the word ‘no’. Today, this message seems positively enlightened; it suggests that women know their own minds and are capable of saying no to unwanted sex. It also implies a clear distinction between rape and sex – at the heart of which is the word ‘no’: when one partner says ‘no’ and the other proceeds to have sex regardless then this is rape.

Affirmative consent policies, or ‘yes means yes’ as it is sometimes called, teach students not to rely on one partner saying ‘no’. Students are taught not to assume that people are always able to say ‘no’ and that the absence of ‘no’ should not imply consent. Sex could be rape even if the word ‘no’ is never uttered. Instead of waiting for a ‘no’, students must have an explicit and enthusiastic ‘yes’. What’s more, they cannot assume that a ‘yes’ given at one stage in proceedings is enough; consent must be ongoing and sought anew every step of the way. Likewise, a ‘yes’ from someone who is drunk doesn’t count, people must be sober in order to consent. The assumption throughout is that a woman might not know her own mind; she might do one thing but actually mean another, only to change her mind altogether a few moments later. Men, on the other hand, are assumed to be predatory, determined to have sex whether the woman wants it or not. The emphasis on affirmative consent leads students to believe that spontaneity and passion are dangerous because sex not preceded by citing rehearsed scripts and formal negotiations is rape.

Students are presented with a simplistic notion of consent that sets an unattainably high standard for the conduct of private relationships.

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