Who Says I'm an Addict? by David Smallwood

Author:David Smallwood
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Addiction
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2014-06-02T04:00:00+00:00

Booze and drugs have a very overt effect on our mental state: they make us drunk or high. Cigarettes don’t create the same peaks and troughs, but their overall long-term effect on deadening down our emotions is actually much stronger.

I know countless recovering drug abusers, alcoholics, sex addicts, gamblers, anorexics and overeaters who’ve all overcome severe problems with addiction, yet they continue to smoke. This is despite them being almost evangelical about the fact they’re clean with regard to other forms of addiction.

When people quit alcohol or drugs, they not only often continue to smoke, but their habit actually increases. Part of the problem revolves around the rituals attached to smoking. If suddenly you find yourself with lots of empty time then it’s natural to search out something to do with your hands. Meanwhile, widespread bans on smoking in many public places have resulted in smokers congregating outside pubs or offices to chat, and this form of social interaction has become part of the ritual.

In my case, when I was a heavy smoker there were several ‘triggers’ that always led to me sparking up in a ritualistic way. If the phone rang, I would automatically light a cigarette. If somebody came to see me, the first thing I did was sit down with them and light up. These triggers can take lots of different forms. A friend told me that whenever his boss spoke to him, he would go straight outside afterwards and have a smoke!

When I quit booze I went from being a 20 a day smoker to consuming 60 a day. In this instance, I was using cigarettes as an emotional crutch to prop me up because I missed the effects that alcohol had previously had on my feelings. The moment the alcohol stopped working for me as a drug of choice – because I didn’t have it – I looked for something else and nicotine was it.

I realized just how far nicotine had got me addicted when I was going out to play pool one day. I had my jacket on and I was anxiously patting my pockets because I was worried I’d forget my cigarettes. I had a full packet opened and another packet that was opened and half-full, and two cigarette lighters (in case one ran out of gas). This was all very well, but I was only going out for an hour! That’s how hooked I was – and I realized that the hold cigarettes had over me was every bit as strong as the effects of the booze.

When I did eventually quit smoking, I went through a truly awful time. I had two beautiful Labrador dogs back then, and I can remember one particular day when I took them for a walk down by the river. I was in the process of giving up smoking and I felt very low.

The sun was sparkling on the water and the wind was gently whispering through the trees, and it should have been a perfect moment to enjoy, but all I could think about was how miserable I felt.

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