Who Cut the Cheese? by Jo Nesbo

Author:Jo Nesbo
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Aladdin

And with that, the tongue shot out with Nilly clinging to it. An instant later, the tongue hit the flag and Nilly’s head hit the balcony railing behind the flag. Nilly pulled himself up and just managed to get his hands around the railing before he felt the sticky tongue being yanked away from under his feet, which were suddenly dangling in midair. His ears were ringing and he was seeing stars, but he didn’t let go. He fought, straining with all his might, and got a foot up. And then another one. Then he swung himself over the railing and hopped down. After he caught his breath, he snuck over to the balcony door and stood up just enough so that he could peek in the window.

The room was empty.

Unless there were a dozen moon chameleons sitting and standing around in there, camouflaged to look like the desk, chair, bookshelves, globe, rococo sofa, lamp, wallpaper, or large portrait of a poodle hanging above the desk.

The music was clearly coming from the adjacent room, whose door was ajar. Nilly heard voices and quiet laughter. Since none of the furniture moved or attacked him, Nilly assumed it probably was furniture, and he tiptoed into the room. Just then he heard a voice from the next room loudly and clearly say: “It’s cold, Göran.”

And a high, squeaky voice: “Yes indeed, master.”

A scratching sound, like claws scraping on wood, was coming closer. Nilly hurried over to the desk and crawled underneath.

Just as the door opened.

From where Nilly was sitting, he could only see the legs of whoever had entered. They were covered with light gray hair and ended in a couple of feet that explained the scratching sound. Because two sets of toes with the longest, most unappealing and unkempt toenails Nilly had ever seen were poking through a pair of ratty white tennis socks. The toenails curled around the ends of the toes and scraped against the wood floor as the bowlegged legs maneuvered toward the balcony door with a swaying, side-to-side gait. The door closed with a bang. The toenail-infested creature bent down to slide the bolt at the bottom of the door shut, and when it did that, Nilly saw something that was even uglier than the toenails. Beneath a long, arching tail, he saw a naked, hairy rear end with something in the middle that made the toenails seem beautiful and appetizing by comparison. It was a cluster of bulging pink protuberances that could only be one thing: hemorrhoids. External, monster hemorrhoids that could hardly be pleasant to sit on, and that must itch something awful.

The creature named Göran plucked something up from the balcony door threshold and made a series of loud sniffing sounds. Then squeaky, irritated muttering: “Poop! Filthy britches! That cleaning lady ought to be tortured for this!”

Poop? Poop?! Nilly looked down at his own shoes in alarm and discovered a brown, smushed blob caked onto the sole of his shoe. He must have stepped on

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.