Where's My Jetpack? by Daniel H. Wilson

Author:Daniel H. Wilson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781635572674
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2017-07-05T16:00:00+00:00

ANTI- SLEEPING PILL

In the land of the future we are all going to live forever, so there will be no time for sleep. For those of us who want to skip our solid eight, the solution is already here and, as usual, it is in pill form. The U.S. military is hell-bent on creating an army of metabolically enhanced supersoldiers with nerves of steel and bloodshot eyes. The same advanced technology that will allow an army of zombie soldiers to stalk the battlefield will allow you to finally watch the entire Sopranos series nonstop.

Anti-sleeping pills have a very practical application for people suffering from narcolepsy, an affliction that causes people to instantly fall asleep (usually as the punch line of a joke). To battle the cheap jokes, a French firm has developed a drug sold in the United States under the name Provigil (and Alertec in Canada). The active ingredient, called modafinil, was approved by the FDA in 1998 and is officially used to treat excessive sleepiness and to help cocaine addicts kick their habit. The U.S. Air Force has also tested modafinil on fighter pilots, instead of giving them the usual amphetamines that long-haired truck drivers have been using for decades. This wonder drug is set to banish sleep forever.

In trials, Provigil has been shown to successfully keep people awake for up to eighty-eight hours with negligible side effects and little risk of addiction. Unlike amphetamines, which stimulate the entire nervous system, modafinil simply shuts off the feeling of drowsiness. It may sound great, but calm down, ace; there is none of the euphoria induced by stimulants like cocaine or ecstasy. Modafinil keeps you awake and alert, but it doesn’t prevent you from getting bored.

Federal legislation requires U.S. truck drivers to rest for at least 12 hours in a 24-hour period. Taking the weekend off is also mandatory (partying hard is optional, but recommended).

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