When Sorry Isn't Enough by Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas

Author:Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas [Chapman, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780802485007
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2013-04-21T21:00:00+00:00

A “10” APOLOGY

But what if you’ve apologized and you sense that the other person still hasn’t fully forgiven you? Here is an approach that may help you deepen the level of forgiveness. A day or two after you have offered your apology, say to the other person, “On a scale of 0–10, how sincere do you feel my apology was the other night?” If the other person says anything less than 10, then you respond, “What could I do to bring it up to a 10?” The answer will give you the practical information you need to continue the apology process until you have done everything possible to pave the way for forgiveness.

One husband asked his wife this question and her answer was, “About 7,” to which he responded, “What could I do to bring it up to a 10?” She said, “I mostly believe that you are sincere—but the one thing you didn’t say is that you were wrong. I still wonder if you are excusing your behavior because of the way I treated you. I know that I haven’t been perfect, but I don’t think anything that I have done gave you an excuse to do what you did. I’m not sure that you really feel that.”

The husband said, “I can see how you might feel that way. Let me tell you that I know what I did was wrong. There was no excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I did. In no way was it your fault. I’m sorry that I put you through this, and I hope that in time you will be able to forgive me.”

And that, very likely, is just what his wife needed to hear.

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