When Happily Ever After Shatters by Sue Birdseye

Author:Sue Birdseye
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-15T16:00:00+00:00

ADDRESSING ABANDONMENT

Adultery, abandonment, and divorce are pandemic in our communities and our churches. Obviously, a lot of people are dealing with these issues, and they shouldn’t feel alone. I want to reach out to all those people. But I must ask, “Why are so many people dealing with adultery and divorce?” I think a lot has to do with the idea that we can achieve happiness here on earth. That if something is difficult and challenging, we should be free to pursue something that isn’t challenging or difficult. Our culture portrays love as a feeling, not a commitment and a choice. That leads to the assumption that when marriage gets difficult or when our spouse isn’t all we hoped he or she would be, we have an out.

Why not go find someone else who makes us feel better, at least for this moment in time? We can always move on again if necessary. It is beyond sad. We miss so much when we give up. So many people forfeit the beauty of rising above their circumstances and growing together through adversity for the ease of abandonment and divorce—if either of those can be considered easy.

I also think that if we could only open up and share our struggles, we would find strength to fight the temptation to give it all up. When we name our sins and place them in the light, their power is diminished. The trouble is that there aren’t that many safe places where we can openly share our struggles without shame or regret, because people tend to judge so severely.

I think we try to give the impression that we have it all together, and yet most, if not all, of us don’t. I guess I should only speak for myself, but I suspect that we all have something we struggle with, something we wish we could purge from our lives. It has struck me deeply that if we were all more honest about our struggles, we could strengthen one another. We would be able to face together what we all try to face alone. We could walk alongside each other as accountability partners, prayer partners, companions, and friends. Our focus wouldn’t be on hiding our issues but rather on conquering them. Our churches would be places that welcomed the broken openly as we all embraced the strength that is offered through Christ.

People would likely accept and applaud our willingness to share some sins openly, but others would be deemed too controversial, too wicked, too . . . well . . . too sinful. I think we put sexual sin in that category all too often. It seems to be the predominant sin in our society, and yet it’s the one we least want to deal with openly. It destroys lives, marriages, and families and can continue to do so for generations. It’s a reality we should address.

We all struggle with sin. Why is one person’s struggle with envy and selfishness any less awful than someone else’s

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