What's Your Anger Type for Christians by Peter Sacco

Author:Peter Sacco
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Anger, triggers, stress, stress management, anger management, Christian, personality types, rage, jealousy, conflict, conflict management, fear, aggression, aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, assertiveness training
ISBN: 9781849899888
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2012
Published: 2012-01-19T00:00:00+00:00

Manipulative Anger

An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

Proverbs 29:22

Has anyone ever referred to you as a poor sport or a crybaby? When you were a child, when you didn’t get your way did you pack up your toys and go home? Did you refuse to play with others who didn’t want to play by your rules? Are you a sore loser? Are you any or all of the above today? If you answer yes, then you might have manipulative anger!

What is manipulative anger? It can best be described as scheming or controlling behaviors used to get you what you want. The famous psychiatrist Eric Berne described three states people play; the balanced adult role, the parent role and the child role. The balanced adult role is behaving and acting responsibly. You focus on the here and now. The parent and the child roles can be used in the proper context or in ways which generate dysfunction. For example, a parent plays the parent role through nurturing or caring for their children. On the other hand, a married woman may play the parent role to her irresponsible drug using, alcohol abusing husband. She thus enables his behavior and treats him like a child! An adult male may play the child role when he joins his friends for a game of pickup hockey. Within this situation, the child role is used appropriately. Conversely, this same man might throw a temper tantrum when he learns his wife has made plans to go out as a family the same night he had plans to play slo-pitch. To get even, he sulks and pouts the whole night. This is obviously playing the child role in a dysfunctional manner. Children use anger to manipulate, so do adults!

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