Walking in Valleys of Darkness by Albert Holtz

Author:Albert Holtz
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Body, Monasticism, Death, Spirituality - Catholic Church, Spirituality, Christian Life, Bereavement, General, Grief, religion, Consolation, Self-Help, Mind & Spirit, Benedictines - Spiritual Life
ISBN: 9780819227416
Publisher: Church Publishing
Published: 2011-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOUR

MY TURN WITH THE MONSTER

Cancer

When I heard that my brother Richard, ten years older than I, had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2000, I was of course worried for him, and couldn’t help thinking of Bob’s cancer and death. But deep inside I was also afraid for myself, because his illness put me into the “high risk” category for the same disease. So I dutifully went to the doctor to begin keeping a wary eye on the PSA level in my blood. The first couple of biopsies were negative. Then what I’d been fearing for almost three years finally happened: a biopsy came back positive. I had cancer.

The cancer had been detected early, was not an especially virulent type, and was easily treatable. I was fortunate to be able to have the new robotic surgery to remove my prostate, an operation which required just an overnight stay in the hospital. It was successful and within a few weeks the discomfort and the worst side effects of the surgery were past. My life returned to normal, and I’ve been cancer-free ever since.

Except for the initial shock, this did not turn out to be a particularly terrible ordeal; in fact, it was all over so quickly and with such minimal pain that I do not consider myself to have earned the proud title of “cancer survivor.” Yet I certainly discovered a lot about myself during this period. Thanks to what I had learned from dealing with the demise and resurrection of Saint Benedict’s Prep and with Bob’s death, I was able even as I was going through this experience to see it as a mysterious opportunity from God. All along, starting with the diagnosis and through the process of healing after the operation, I spent a lot of time praying and thinking about what the Lord might be trying to teach me. The following meditations offer some of my reflections and reactions during that time.

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