Trying Not To Love You by Amabile Giusti

Author:Amabile Giusti [Giusti, Amabile]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-07-27T23:00:00+00:00

16

MARCUS

She avoids me, she wriggles away, she tries to escape like a frightened gazelle. If I let her, she’d jump off the bus while it was still moving. I don’t want her to get soaked, and if she doesn’t dry off soon, she’ll risk getting sick.

Why do I always have to take care of her? I get the distinct impression she ought to be paying me more for what I do. I have to protect her ass from Grant and pretend to be a good boyfriend, and now I have to look after her health.

Maybe I feel sorry for her. Yes, that’s definitely it – I feel sorry for her. She really touches my heart at times, but never more so than tonight. She looks like a stray cat lost in a rainstorm. There’s nothing more to it than that, of course: even assholes like me can still pity someone like her.

So I take her to the Gold Cat. While Penny’s drying off, Sherrie comes up and winks at me. ‘I like this one,’ she says with a smile. She’s always had a soft spot for me. If it weren’t for her, what happened in my past would have destroyed me.

‘What do you mean?’

‘This girl is the one.’

‘She’s not my girlfriend.’

‘I know, your girlfriend is Francisca and blah, blah, blah, but it’s only because you’re used to Francisca. She’s the only stable thing you’ve had in years, you’ve gone through hard times together, and that can make you think you love someone, but love wouldn’t destroy you the way she will.’

‘Francisca doesn’t destroy me.’

‘No, but she lands you in prison.’

‘Please, Sherrie, will you just drop it? Penny means nothing to me, OK?’

‘You weren’t looking at her like she meant nothing.’

‘What, me?’ I exclaim, genuinely puzzled. Sherrie used to be a prostitute, but that doesn’t mean she spares me any of her lessons on romance. She and my mother were two whores with heads full of fairy tales. ‘And just how exactly was I looking at her?’

‘With tenderness.’

‘“Tenderness” is not a word I know. “Compassion” might be nearer the mark. Did you see how wet through she was?’

‘I’ve seen many things in my life and I’m sure of this: it’s compassion, not a sense of revenge, that can turn into love.’

‘Look, just go make her some hot coffee and something to eat, will you? Any more compassion from the two of us and she’s gonna catch pneumonia.’

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