Thrive in Retirement by Eric Thurman

Author:Eric Thurman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2019-02-25T16:00:00+00:00

Relationally Prepared

Relationships and soul are the parts of life that frequently come front and center during a person’s last days. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote a play in which a dying man says, “The moment when it’s terrible to feel regret is when one is dying.” Spare yourself regret by repairing relationships as completely as you can. If possible, do this well in advance of the end of your life.

I have a friend who died while I was writing this chapter. His passing made these subjects vivid for me. When he was a younger man, my friend alienated many family members and friends as he struggled with addictions to alcohol and drugs. He eventually sought help and lived a sober life for years, including the whole time I knew him. After he was clean he reconnected with his son, established a reputable construction business, and formed many close friendships. However, he remained estranged from a few important family members.

He developed cancer in his sixties, and when his terminal prognosis reduced his time to live to a few months he reached out to his sister. She responded warmly and arranged a reconciliation meeting with his brother also. My friend passed with his sister, son, daughter, and several close friends around him. It was a good death.

Ann Merkel spent the last dozen years as a hospice nurse and was an oncology nurse for twenty years before that. Altogether she has witnessed more than two thousand deaths. In an interview she told me:

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