Thinking Like Jesus: The Psychology of a Faithful Disciple by Guarendi Ray

Author:Guarendi, Ray
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sophia Institute Press
Published: 2018-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

19

Unoffendable

“Unforgettable,” sang Nat King Cole in his signature song. Christians should sing a similar signature song, “Unoffendable.”

A trait that personifies our society is “prickliness.” Taking harrumphing offense is the automatic response of many. College students retreat to “safe spaces” to hide from hearing anything contrary to their sense of things. Politicians delicately mouth ever-evolving, linguistically correct terms so as not to miff potential voters. Adolescents stand cyber-ready to retaliate in (un)kind to anyone who makes an “insensitive” post. A code of the streets warns, “Don’t stare or even look at someone lest he feel challenged.”

Behind all this peevishness is an inflated sense of self: “I’m competent; I’m good; I’m awesome; I’m cool.” And everyone better recognize it. If I even sniff that you don’t, I will quickly assert what I believe to be my due.

An overblown sense of “me” develops young. From preschool on, children are counseled to see themselves as wonderful simply because they affirm it to be so. From the Christian viewpoint they are indeed wonderful, as they are children of God. Still, how much self-declared self-inflation is good for you? How much is too much, and what effect does it have on personal relationships?

As I’ve said throughout this book, my worth is not determined by me. My worth rests on an infinite word spoken by the Creator of the universe. Of all people, Christians should be the least easily offended, since we have a sense of who we are that comes from God Himself. This should help to insulate us emotionally from others’ judgments of our abilities, competence, status, or value. Were it possible this side of heaven to fully know our value in God’s eyes, we would be completely immune to offense.

An offense is a type of insult, a put-down of my religion, my character, my parenthood — in essence, something central to my person. And the more central, the more I feel demeaned. Ignoring or laughing off comments about my pitiful artwork isn’t hard for me because since kindergarten I’ve known that I can’t color within the lines. Call me a woefully inarticulate writer (You wouldn’t, would you?), and I’m all too ready to defend myself. “So you think this is easy. Let’s see you try it!”

There is a “How dare you?” aspect to taking offense. “How dare she say that about my children?” “How could he actually think that?” “Why would she not give me any credit for that?” It’s taken as a lack of respect, an inaccurate view of me.

Offense also comes faster when it comes from someone who matters. “She’s my mother. She should realize I . . .” It comes faster when what I most value is devalued. “I try so hard to be loving, and they accuse me of being judgmental.”

To be offended means to expect recognition, or honor, or attention, or praise. None of these, however, are due to a follower of Christ. Again, our worth comes from being His follower, not from approval polls.

Only one person deserved no insults or derision whatever.

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